Ode to Eryn & Lily

My friend Eryn decided that we are so amazing, she should write down the stuff we say... well not totally but for some reason when you combine all of us and a few drinks...

"How did Chele sprain her ankle?" - Eryn
"Walking." - Lily



"That one has a crunchy surprise in the middle." - Chele

"Are you familiar with North, South, East and West? - Chele

"Forgiveness comes to those who forgive?" - Eryn

"I used to charge my ex $10 for blow jobs" - Chele
"With inflation it would be like $25." - Lily

(on how to make money)

"I'm the boob fixer. Do yours need to be fixed?" - Lily

"It's a good boob shirt....... unless you're an ugly giant dyke." - Lily

"As the puma slowly approaches its prey....." - Eryn
"We were watching National Geographic and we didn't even know it." - Chele

(on watching a "cougar")


"I don't look at my ass when I buy jeans. I have illusions to maintain." - Chele

"There was something white flying over there!" - Eryn
"It was a flying cock ring!" - Chele

"I reached into my bra to get my lighter..... and I broke my thumbnail. My boob broke my thumbnail!" - Lily



"Feel me!!! I feel special!!!" - Eryn

"You have something in your eyebrow. I thought it would blow away." - Eryn
"It must be sweat glue." - Lily

"I have a hair on my chest." - Chele
"It looks like Eryn's." - Lily
"It's to long to be mine." - Eryn
"You have foreign blonde on you. Are you smuggling?" - Lily

"I'm getting down but not back up." - Chele

(on why I don't dance)

"Is this one big enough for you?" - Eryn

"Would you like someone to pull it off with their teeth?" - Chele

"I should just stick this in my vagina and wait." - Eryn

"It's all downhill after me!" - Eryn

"Where are you from?" - Rob
"From the land of amazing." - Eryn

"It would make a great house warming present." - Chele
---- In ref to stolen bar glasses.

"If I wanted your opinion I'd give it to you" - Joy

"I need more attention! Do I need to faint?" - Do-You-Know-Who-I-Am David Phan

"Oh look! It's the unibomber!" -David

"I had to swallow twice!" - Chele
(um yeah)
"I can usually handle a big load." - David

"That's as high as it's going boys." - Eryn

"Guy Jacking..... Lily is famous!! Guy Jacking! It's on the internet!" - Chele

"I need you to help me behave like a person." - Chele

(on why I shouldn't drink)

"How do I get it in?........... Not the first time I said that." - David

"Normally, it's which hole does it go into." - David

"You have a purse. Why do you put everything in your boobs?" - Eryn
"It's easier to get into my boobs." - Lily

"Look at that sweattle! That's not good. No sweattle." - David

"She got sticky stuff on my cheek!" - Eryn

"That was plumping lip gloss. Did your cheek plump?" - Lily

"I'm allowed to be 21!?" - Random drunk guy
After staring at drunk guy for a minute;
"What?" - David

"Your asshole will be paying for it later!!" - David

"My vagina has standards." - Eryn

"I don't kids either. That's statutory rape." - Eryn

"She's collecting nuts and putting them in one place." - Eryn

"I recognize that arm fat!" - Lily


"I didn't authorize any double dipping!" - Random lady

"You better take me home so I can fall asleep somewhere comfortable afterwards." - Chele

"This is the year of slaying the drama bitch." - Chele

"Lily! Say something!" - Eryn
"I'm so fucking brilliant, I ooze!" - Lily

"I better do it now while I can't feel anything." - Eryn

"This here is the ophilium." - Eryn
"What's an ophilium?" - Chele
"It produces opium?" - Eryn

"She's carrying toddlers around on her chest." -Eryn

"I don't appreciate that smell" - Eryn