Dog wrecks

Rehabbing dogs can be very rewarding and then sometimes there is this

Ode to Eryn & Lily

My friend Eryn decided that we are so amazing, she should write down the stuff we say... well not totally but for some reason when you combine all of us and a few drinks...

"How did Chele sprain her ankle?" - Eryn
"Walking." - Lily



"That one has a crunchy surprise in the middle." - Chele

"Are you familiar with North, South, East and West? - Chele

"Forgiveness comes to those who forgive?" - Eryn

"I used to charge my ex $10 for blow jobs" - Chele
"With inflation it would be like $25." - Lily

(on how to make money)

"I'm the boob fixer. Do yours need to be fixed?" - Lily

"It's a good boob shirt....... unless you're an ugly giant dyke." - Lily

"As the puma slowly approaches its prey....." - Eryn
"We were watching National Geographic and we didn't even know it." - Chele

(on watching a "cougar")


"I don't look at my ass when I buy jeans. I have illusions to maintain." - Chele

"There was something white flying over there!" - Eryn
"It was a flying cock ring!" - Chele

"I reached into my bra to get my lighter..... and I broke my thumbnail. My boob broke my thumbnail!" - Lily



"Feel me!!! I feel special!!!" - Eryn

"You have something in your eyebrow. I thought it would blow away." - Eryn
"It must be sweat glue." - Lily

"I have a hair on my chest." - Chele
"It looks like Eryn's." - Lily
"It's to long to be mine." - Eryn
"You have foreign blonde on you. Are you smuggling?" - Lily

"I'm getting down but not back up." - Chele

(on why I don't dance)

"Is this one big enough for you?" - Eryn

"Would you like someone to pull it off with their teeth?" - Chele

"I should just stick this in my vagina and wait." - Eryn

"It's all downhill after me!" - Eryn

"Where are you from?" - Rob
"From the land of amazing." - Eryn

"It would make a great house warming present." - Chele
---- In ref to stolen bar glasses.

"If I wanted your opinion I'd give it to you" - Joy

"I need more attention! Do I need to faint?" - Do-You-Know-Who-I-Am David Phan

"Oh look! It's the unibomber!" -David

"I had to swallow twice!" - Chele
(um yeah)
"I can usually handle a big load." - David

"That's as high as it's going boys." - Eryn

"Guy Jacking..... Lily is famous!! Guy Jacking! It's on the internet!" - Chele

"I need you to help me behave like a person." - Chele

(on why I shouldn't drink)

"How do I get it in?........... Not the first time I said that." - David

"Normally, it's which hole does it go into." - David

"You have a purse. Why do you put everything in your boobs?" - Eryn
"It's easier to get into my boobs." - Lily

"Look at that sweattle! That's not good. No sweattle." - David

"She got sticky stuff on my cheek!" - Eryn

"That was plumping lip gloss. Did your cheek plump?" - Lily

"I'm allowed to be 21!?" - Random drunk guy
After staring at drunk guy for a minute;
"What?" - David

"Your asshole will be paying for it later!!" - David

"My vagina has standards." - Eryn

"I don't kids either. That's statutory rape." - Eryn

"She's collecting nuts and putting them in one place." - Eryn

"I recognize that arm fat!" - Lily


"I didn't authorize any double dipping!" - Random lady

"You better take me home so I can fall asleep somewhere comfortable afterwards." - Chele

"This is the year of slaying the drama bitch." - Chele

"Lily! Say something!" - Eryn
"I'm so fucking brilliant, I ooze!" - Lily

"I better do it now while I can't feel anything." - Eryn

"This here is the ophilium." - Eryn
"What's an ophilium?" - Chele
"It produces opium?" - Eryn

"She's carrying toddlers around on her chest." -Eryn

"I don't appreciate that smell" - Eryn

Finally....

It's small and irrelevant to those of you not familiar with it BUT, I finally got approved by Petfinder.

Aslan Cat Rescue

Apparently with something like a million hits a day or what not, it's tons more exposure.  Hopefully I can adopt out more little furry things.




(furrydevinats.blogspot.com)

Bang Bang

I procrastinate a lot of things.  For example, I've had the stuff to paint & do the bathroom floor for like 6 weeks now. Its still on the dining room table which I'm supposed to be moving so I can paint the dining room and find and hang the stuf fin there, but first I really wanted to do something w/ the floor in there but then I would have to finish pulling up the carpet in the tiny piece of hallway and fix that... so yeah you see why I never get anywhere.

Regardless I've wanted to get my concealed weapons permit for a while now, probably like 9 years.  I guess since Andrea was murdered at work, I've thought about it more, but never got there. It crosses my mind more on days I have to walk over the spot, but I've just never gotten there.  I'm not sure why I do that with stuff.  For some reason my boss decides that this weekend we will all go and take the classes needed.  I'm not sure she thought this through with an office full of women who all get PMS at the same time. 

I'm perfectly comfortable with guns, but haven't had any actual target practice in years.  I grew up around them, learning to reload shells when I was like 8.  Six out of 8 christmases with my ex I received a gun or something to do with them for a present.  Shame I didn't realize he took all those when I moved him along being as I was dumb enough at the time to register them in my name.  The Hammerhead I dated was fun to target practice with, but alas his guns went with him as well.  And more recently target practice was something we planned to do, but like everything else, it was simply a plan.  

That leaves me with a 38 taurus.  A bit big to carry but maybe if I could find some kind of bra holder, it would fit right on in there.  Perhaps I could just teach on of the dogs to carry it, wonder if there is some kind of law on that... maybe I should get them each one.   I feel fairly safe having 2 dogs that together outweigh me, now if I could teach them to "pack some heat".

Ah well, wish me luck.  Hopeuflly I'll remember I'm left eye dominant and not shoot someones leg off.

Right on Target

So I had a fun time with Target $1 area and clearance today.  Probably the first time I've enjoyed shopping in a while.  Anyway, I got some fun things.  I love Halloween, it's my favorite holiday and the only one so far that doesn't have something crappy associated with it (but that's a whole nother blog).  Being able to wear scrubs helps and I've got a collection w/ socks to wear (yes I'm a dork). I found some more fun ones today...

I also found a wall tile in the perfect green.  I'm trying to find accessories for my room & new comforter in this green, & there was this & on sale no less. 

Then I come home.  Let me start that I spent a great part of yesterday trying to teach the dogs to go through the dog door.  I resorted to crawling through it myself and in the process hit my already injured knee several times.... it is a lovely shade of purple though, too bad I just changed my hair. 

So today I decided to tape the flap open, even thought it would require my cheap ass to leave the AC turned low in hopes that the dogs would at least figure out going through it.

Apparently not. I was 99% sure I locked the back door, however when I came home Moses had it wide open, totally ignoring the dog door.  Pilgrim apparently wasn't happy with the arrangements either.  He managed to eat one of his beds that I spent 30 min putting together yesterday out of 4" memory foam.  

I'm going enjoy a glass or two from the problem size bottle of wine I got...

The story of Pilgrim

So here is the story of Pilgrim.  I was nearing the end of my rope with Animal control. Three years as Vet Tech supervisor and another 3 as rescue foster coordinator. Management just had an overhauled and the city brought in some accountants or such from City Hall that had ZERO animal experience to run the place.  It was a shit show. It had turned total politics and I had been moved to a satellite location to “supervise” which basically made it impossible to do the job I was hired for. 

 The entire operation was being run by an accountant with no animal experience, a vet who was not even smart enough to go to school in the USA with a huge chip on her shoulder and no skills or confidence to get those.  An illiterate redneck with the inability to bath or tell the truth had also been given too much power, but I digress.

A group of 5 emaciated, flea infested, terrified Great Danes had been dumped by an owner who was moving. Not much more info was given because they claimed to not speak English.  One was in such bad shape he was immediately put to sleep.  One was deemed aggressive and put on the “bad” run.  The rest were started on the process of rescue/adoption.  I spent several hours over the course of several days evaluating them & getting them ready.  It took 3 days to get close to the ‘aggressive” one. I spent my lunch and breaks sitting in the front of his run and tossing treats his way. I was met with vicious barking and growling but body language that showed he was terrified.  After about 3 days I was finally able to get a leash on him. Once out of the shelter noise, I realized he was terrified, absolutely terrified with some barrier aggression thrown in.  

 Long story short, I had rescue lined up to evaluate them. The rescue was new and not too experienced but trying.  The day they came to evaluate the dogs I was out “supervising”.  They agreed to take a few of them but decided against the “aggressive” one.  I was not worried; I had 2 other groups interested in him.

I happened to come by the shelter the next day, a Saturday.  I would not usually have been there as I got up early that morning to do a regular spot on the morning news then usually left, however I needed to catch up on some stuff.  I just happened to walk down the hall and there was the “aggressive” Dane being drug toward the euthanasia room on a catch pole. I freaked.  After stopping them I was told that smelly illiterate redneck had ordered him put to sleep when I was not there because she thought I was wasting my time and didn’t want to wait for another group to come. She told them to do it Saturday when I was away "supervising". 

I’ll spare you the details but I took the “aggressive” dog, sent an email to my boss to tell them to “KISS IT” and left without a second thought.  I left the career I had always wanted, civil service &; union benefits, full medical benefits and a great salary and I’ve never regretted it.

Pilgrim has his host of issues, both physical & mental.  He took 6 months to housebreak. He was scared he would not be allowed back in the house. He has eaten nearly every piece of furniture in my house, but I have never seen a dog so grateful.  It took a while but he is happy.  He smiles when he goes to the park. He does a happy dance from the joy of running around outside. (we just need to work on the part where he added body slam to happy dance.)  He has learned to play with toys.  He is gentle and delicate with the smaller animals and cats.  He lets Jelly Legs have treats first.  He waits his turn to eat and go outside.  He walks up to strangers and asks to be petted, so much for being mean.  As for the aggression, it’s gone until it counts.  He guards me where it counts; no one is getting in the house or in his van. 

He is truly a dog happy for the little things in life, a bed, a couch, going for a walk, a romp in the park and a gentle pet on the head.(and maybe a coffee table or a set of blinds)

(www.furrydeviants.blogspot.com)

The story of Moses

Well for lack of anything else to do and because someone told me I should write this stuff down, every few days I’m going to write the story of one of the furry deviants. That way when I’m old and senile, someone can read me the stories and remind me of how I went crazy.

In July 2007 I was still working as rescue, foster & adoption coordinator at Animal Control. The place was in fairly bad shape, severely overcrowded, rampant w/ pest & disease and being destroyed by politics, but we all still plugged on. I was also personally have a very hard time as my beloved Doberman Dog was slipping further into heart failure from dilated cardiomyopathy. I felt as if my soul was dying, but that is another story. A few months before this we had rescued an older Mastiff in poor shape. I fostered her for a bit and we were able to get her into rescue. I had fallen in love with her but the situation wasn’t right for me to keep her.

I was in my office one day when one of the officers came and got me to show me this big brown dog they had picked up just a block from where the female had come from. There in the run was this skinny, scared, unfriendly, broken mangy looking dog. He had apparently been wandering the streets for a very long time and due to having been hit by a car they were able to tranquilize & catch him. He wanted nothing to do with anyone so I signed him up for pain meds and held out that 1/2 % chance someone would come looking for him.

A few days passed & I got busy with other things. Then while making my rounds I came across that brown dog again. No more friendly, he laid staring in the back of his cage. I noticed he only had 2 days left. I went to work networking but with rescues overcrowded and the dog being a mix, even if it was part mastiff, no one had room, especially for a broken mutt.

I thought maybe I could take him for just a few days, find out what was wrong with his leg then perhaps someone would be more willing to take him in. At a mere 88lbs, he was also suffering from several severe lacerations, a skin infection and heartworms. I brought him home to begin rehab (if you’re bored there is a video down there…) Dog could have cared less but I think he was too sick at that point to mind much. The name Moses just came to me on his car trip home, so it stuck. His fun loving, goofy personality came out as soon as he was out of the shelter. He was kind of like the big special kid in class, quite a bit smarter than anyone realized but never really quite sure how to show it.

During all this, Dog suffered a heart attack and died. I was devastated. Yet there was Moses, big goofy Moses was just kind of there, a clam, quiet presence. It was then I realized I didn’t want him to go when he was better… so here he stayed.

He has since healed his broken leg and gained 50lbs. DNA test revealed he wasn’t a mastiff mix but a St Bernard, Irish setter, German shepherd, Rottweiler cross. He’s like the kid my mother always wanted me to have so I could see what it was like. He is super smart and can open pretty much any door or gate, yet he only seems to remember what sit is about ½ the time. He waits until the very last minute to come when he is called, in just enough time so you can’t fuss at him for not listening. He can find a pill hidden in any type of food, yet he has figured out how to get into the pantry, into the garbage and pick out anything resembling food. He wipes out tables and shelves with one wag of his tail, yet he can carry a to go container all over the house without spilling a drop of food. I’ve been able to trim his nails once in 2 years, but he sat on a table for 2 hours so M & I could paint him like a tiger. He has taken down grown men while playing in the park, yet he will lie still on the floor for hours just so Jelly Legs can play with him and not get hurt. I couldn’t ask for a better dog

Snot

I've been full of it for 2 days. No fever so I have assured myself that I don't have swine flu. I was just commenting the other day how I needed another case of the flu so I could stop smoking AGAIN, no breathing, no smoking. It worked for over a year last time. So today will probably suck. We are short staffed, in my area. I have a new girl to train. I don't like people. I loathe stupid. If this one is, she will not survive today. I have to have happy smiley be nice to people today face because we will be busy. I'm going to pull a Japan and wear a mask. I'm already late & I don't care. (on a side note, don't take more nyquil if you wake up at 2am, you'll oversleep) My only hope is how perfect my cappuccino turned out today.... look at the little paw print.

This has to be the cutest thing ever

www.furrydeviants.blogspot.com

Kittens for adoption

Jimmy Hoffa, Big Nose Kate & Clover are all ready to go now. Adolf, Ave & the crew of the 100 Aker Woods will be ready in about 8 weeks.

Dear City of Jacksonville

While I realize that the abandoned houses here are nothing compared to New Orleans, I've come to find the one behind me annoying. I appreciate no humans living there I am not enjoying the mice and flies. I decided tonight to put another complaint in to the city for the excessive nasty mess of something that was year old trash and is now driveway decoration. On another note they estimate compleation of my compaint by February of 2010. Here is a copy of my complaint: Trash and litter. Complaint put in for trash, litter, overgrown yard, abandoned house: The yard has been trimmed, which the neighbors greatly appreciate. However, the trash cans that have been full of garbage for over a year, and also contained stagnant water, were simply dumped over. This occurred after the yard was “cleaned up”, perhaps another neighbors way of attempting to eliminate the mosquito population that had taken them over. The stew of primordial ooze has now spilled over the yard and driveway of the house and along our fence. Apparently this putrid mess is very attractive to flies & every fly from miles around has decided to live there. I'm unable to go into my backyard with a herd of fly’s dive bombing me and this has become excessively annoying. Every time an opportunity arises the flies enter the house and while this provides great entertainment for the cat, they really aren't as easy to hit with a fly swatter as it would seem. The flies make for an unhealthy environment when they accumulate in excess as they have here. It would be great if the homeowners could also be convinced to clean up this trash. http://www.furrydeviants.blogspot.com/

It's raining kittens

So Kanga had her kittens last night. 6 of them. I was thinking more like 4, but there were 6 little ones this morning. She is such a good mommy and is doing great feeding them. 4 girls and 2 boys: Christopher Robins, Winnie the Pooh, Rabbit, Roo, Piglet & Honey. Then long story short a woman brings in 4 “feral” kittens that had been abandoned by their mother to put to sleep because she “had a bad back” and couldn’t feed them for a few more weeks when they would be old enough to give away. Because I’m an emotional disaster lately, I really couldn’t manage to actually put them to sleep… I mean look at those faces. Lucky for me a client offered to foster 2 of them. They are not exactly happy to see me yet but they are eating well. I named them Adolf and Ava, but Jessica said I can’t do that so I’m open to new names. I guess this is what I get when I pray for distractions and something to help me move on and forget. But how can something so cute not bring a smile to your face.