Furry Deviants

False Cape, VA

2011-02-16T16:40:00.000-05:00

Lately in my crippled sated I live vicariously through my brother who is an avid camper/hiker nature type person. He recently got back from a trip to False Cape, VA which is a tad down the coast from Back Bay where we camped a lot as kids. The place looks amazing.

It's gone to the dogs....

2011-02-16T16:31:00.000-05:00

I'm a slacker blogger, ah well. Lately my life is played out in 3 hour increments playing mother to an orphan puppy. My life is eat, sleep, work, puppy (scramble order for fun), so my blog is going to the dogs too. I'm going to periodically post puppy updates, mostly to keep track and for entertainment purposes for the 2 of you that read this blog.

It's a bit sketchy where the puppy came from and exactly how she got like she is, she however ended up at the rescue of a friend (supposedly 8 days old) after being saved from euthanasia. I think she is a tad younger as we are still waiting for her eyes to open on day 15. Her mother supposedly chewed off her back legs which was not noticed by the "breeder" for a day or so. I'm not exactly sure that is the case because it is a rather clean "chew", like no extra teeth marks and a mother dog would probably have broken or crushed the whole leg if she had been "chewing". I think it is more likely a birth defect, probably caused by poor positioning in the uterus or tangled umbilical cord. Peg Leg Sue my cat came w/ one leg like that, complete w/ dried up umbilical cord when I got her at 1 day old. She has what I call kitty downs syndrome but is perfectly happy.

But back to the puppy... regardless of how it happened, she is missing both back feet up to mid hock. I'm not quite sure how that is going to work out for her, but I know animals have an amazing ability to adapt to things people would find life ending.

I've also no idea what breed she is. I've emailed the DNA company to see how young they can test her and when I come up w/ an extra $40 I might get her tested. She is small and brown and slightly fuzzy... because of that and her tenacity so far, I've named her Unsinkable Molly Brown... ah welll I've come up w/ worse names.

LuLu is fascinated w/ her and spends every feeding staring at me to see if I'll let the puppy play with her yet.

Everyone deserves a 2nd chance

2011-02-08T17:44:00.000-05:00

You do the crime, you do the time. God forgives. I recently had a discussion with my mother about Michael Vick which brought up phrases like that. She went on and on and on about how everyone deserves a 2nd chance and that he had done his time and should be allowed another chance. I agree. People can change (except sexual predators, but thats another blog), people do bad things, serve jail time and come out changed people. They then go one to live in 1/2 way houses, scrape by below poverty level and work cleaning up others trash. It's a long haul out of jail onto making something of yourself.

What 99% of people who serve jail time are NOT given are million dollar "jobs" the don't have to work at. They are not given sponsorships, drafted onto chosen teams, given fancy cars and clothes and houses for playing football. Most convicted felons are not given a silver platter while on probation, most of them have to work for it.

Michael Vick is just another example of our countries screwed view on celebrities and their above the law status....

Really? (todays post not safe for children)

2011-01-28T16:40:00.000-05:00

I know children are a ton of work, especially the unhousebroken ones you still have to feed by hand. However I don't get why one that can feed and dress themselves, get themselves to and from school, is relatively well behaved, does their schoolwork and chores is so hard for R's ex to keep up with.

Apparently the bff of the ex called R today to let him know how it is. Ex is doing fun things like leaving the 13yr old alone for entire weekends at a time (including while a friend is also staying over), forgetting to do things like buy groceries, deliberately not making food for bff of 13yr old when 13yr old has bff over, drinking and staying out till 2am 7 days a week, buying slutty clothes for 13yr old (I'm sure to make up for the fact that ex is an ugly fat a$$ who wishes she could wear them). Clothes apparently so bad she gets pulled aside by friends or sent home to change and am sure doesn't understand why her mother told her it was normal and she looked great. The ex tell bff, kid etc that her "dates" buy her drinks & shares her escapades. Apparently most of the ex's friends have tired of hearing of her "dates" so now ex wants to share them with the kid. I've seen supermodels have to buy their own drinks, much less someone who fell off the ugly truck. Guess she isn't using that child support to pay bills now is she.

How hard is it for ex to realize that if she acts like a stupid drunk whore around her impressionable teenager, she is 99% likely to do the same thing? Two weekends a month with us isn't going to cut that out of her head.

I get the pleasure of meeting ex for the first time next weekend. Someone should save bail money for when I have to smack her upside her head.

This makes me feel old

2011-01-25T16:00:00.000-05:00

I've been saying a lot of "back when I was that age" lately with R having a teenager. Mostly to things like endless hours texting while watching youtube. I really can't remember how I entertained myself at that age but it wasn't with TV. We had one phone and one TV and I had to share, so that wasn't it. I had a part time job by that time, which seems like a good idea to me....

But that wasn't my point with this. What gets me lately is the emotional maturity or lack thereof of people these days. Perhaps it has always been that way but I'm noticing it more and more. Perhaps I will become wise in my old age :) People 8, 9 and 10 years younger than me. People fully capable of driving a vehicle, being married, owning or renting their own home, feeding themselves and paying bills who are totally incapable of behaving on an emotional level of anything above a 12 year old. People who run around telling every secret to anyone who will listen in an effort to have the best secret and therefor be the most popular. People who are so incapable of getting themselves out of an unhappy miserable home life that they decide to try and make everyone else miserable. People who run to the "boss" anytime anyone looks at them sideways.

I want to run after them yelling... mommmyyyy mommmmyyy he poked me.... I want to show them that it's ok to wipe your own a$$, that it's ok to act like an adult and that your job isn't a popularity contest, but I don't think it will work. I'm afraid emotional maturity has gone the way of common sense. Perhaps it is being bred out of people, I don't know. I just find it a sad.

Back from the dead

2011-01-22T18:11:00.000-05:00

which it appears I have been. I've no fancy blog to come back with, though a few are swirling around in my head. Who knows, this may last a few months like last time or I really may be back for real.

So yesterday I was heading out of the house about noon to grab a few groceries for the kid this weekend. It was strangely quiet outside, and then I heard these huge wings flapping, I look up and there is a giant vulture. I watch for a while, mostly because I'm strangely fascinated by big wild birds. We have a pair of Cooper's Hawks that live around here killing birds but really I live in the middle of suburbia so I'm allowed to enjoy wildlife other than the feral cats. So I watch the vulture for a while and its soon joined by another. I keep staring because I want to make sure they are stalking a dead cat or something. Eventually, I got in my car and followed them around, finally pulling over to watch them eat a dead possum in the abandoned house behind me....

I really need to get a life....

In Soviet Russia

2010-11-21T10:39:00.000-05:00

I’m sure the rules started something like this. I’ve tended to step away from many things involving Animal Control because when I walked away from my job there I needed it to be a complete break for mental reasons. Up this year however are a few changes to the animal ordinances that were perhaps though up by someone without democracy in mind.

For starters it is the “enforcement” of an ordinance that has been on the books for years. I’m not going to bore you with the details but it basically says you cannot color or dye an animal. The wording leans toward the color for sale and is based on when they used to dye baby chickens and bunnies to sell for Easter. I’m all for not doing that, however it should end there, not handing out $250 citations for what you do to your own pet. In this day and age there is a plethora of fun products made for our pets, which people treat like children. Fancy clothes, collars and more recently pet friendly dye. The stuff is safe, non toxic and you could eat the whole jar without a problem. However Jacksonville FL would like to write you a citation for using it on your pet despite the fact that it isn’t harmful. However you can feel free to cut and dye your children’s hair an whatever style you choose, allow their ears to be pierced by an untrained teenager in the mall while you hold them down and dress them however you please. You can even skip giving them essential live saving vaccines on communicable diseases, again something you can’t do with your pet, which by the way is still considered property in their eyes. I only rant about this citation because I KNOW they are neglecting real problems and real abuse. I can rattle off a handful of hoarders the likes of which TV wouldn’t dare to show due to the horror, convicted animal abusers and neglectors who call themselves rescues who are not only allowed to continue their transgressions but given animals by the shelter in the name of “saving” them. It’s all a numbers game.

Now however they have decided to try and force private businesses to sell rabies license tags. This money does not go to the private business (vet) but to the city. While I’m all for licensing your pet if required it’s not because it’s the law, it’s because I know the $ goes to help the animal at the shelter. (Well maybe 1$ of the $15 but still). What I am against is the government forcing private business to sell for free something profitable to them. Private business will also be forced to report anyone who refuses to purchase said license. Vets will be fined for refusal to comply. While it sounds simple enough to comply, it is several hours a month of work, all to be “donated” to the city in lieu of not being “fined”. Really Jacksonville, have we resorted to the days where you pay the mob for protection or perhaps the Nazi “Party Program” of the 1920s?

I’d like to go on about some other “brilliant” additions to the ordinance that to me is the start of things like breed bans, but I’m going make some blackberry waffles.

(c) All veterinarians conducting business, whether permanently or temporarily, within the City of Jacksonville shall be required to sell a City pet tag, to all Duval County residents and/or part-time residents, for all animals vaccinated against rabies . Copies of Rabies certificates, records of license numbers sold and remittance of funds shall be made within thirty (30) days of the vaccination. If a client declines to purchase the license the veterinary clinic shall write “REFUSED” in the space on the rabies certificate where a pet license number is normally entered

(d) Veterinary Clinics may add a surcharge of up to two dollars ($2) per license sold to cover administrative costs as long as the surcharge is not added to the cost of the license and is invoiced on a separate line.

(e) Failure to sell the City license shall be considered separate and distinct violation for each week in which licenses are not actively sold/offered for sale to every Duval County resident receiving a rabies vaccination and subject to a fine of not less than the amount designated in Chapter 462, Part 18. It shall be a separate and distinct violation for each location that the rabies vaccine is provided to the public, each month. Repeat violations of six (6) or more offenses within any calendar year may result in the suspension, revocation, or non-renewal of the City Occupational License.

leaves and snow and things

2010-11-13T23:15:00.000-05:00

So i was drilling R on his family in Target the other day. Well they weren't in Target, we were. This was soon after I purposely ran him over with the motorized cart... twice. (but that's another blog). I was trying to play nice, plus Thanksgiving would be the time for meet them all collectively for the first time. It's going to be extra fun w/ my non walking feeling frumpy and fat ass, but again that's another blog.

It got me to thinking about my family and VA and fall and snow and winter and all those things I miss in FL. Like mountains and trees that change colors and weather that requires a coat. I haven't owned a coat for 10 years, wait it's more like 15, and no FL people, that "heavy" jacket doesn't count.

Despite it all I miss my family too. I haven't seen my mother in 2 years, my sister, brother and dad in nearly 5. My vacation last year turned into a soul eating depression in my house. This year it was spent on my foot and what is left of it will be spent making up for the time I can't work during the holiday.

Perhaps next year.....

I cheated

2010-11-12T08:36:00.000-05:00

I've been walking on my foot. Just a little, to the car, into and out of work. I can't help it, it's just so easy and it doesn't hurt. Well it didn't hurt until this morning. I'm hoping it is the cold reacting to all the metal in my foot... I still have no word from the bone stimulator people, they need to hurry it up.,

I decided to buy a different knee walker. The one I have is very durable, i have no fear of going over bumps, small steps etc, but it is not steerable. Turns require you to lift and move which is cumbersome and bulky and awkward and makes me look like even more of a dork. So I decided t say screw it and cough up the money for a different one. I started w/ Ebay which is where I found my last one and found an amazing deal on a slightly used one for less than 1/2 the price they go for. Not only did I win it w/o having the price driven way up, but the guy only lives like 2 hours away. He waived the shipping AND today offered to deliver it as his son lives just over the bridge from my work !!!! It looks like this (i'll be sure to post some pics of my own for you to laugh at once I get it...)

FML

2010-11-08T16:54:00.000-05:00

I was so sure that I was going to be able to walk today I started with a few baby steps Friday. A small trip across the living room, walking from the front door of Target to the motorized cart. It made me ecstatic. I took ta few steps at work... much easier even when you have a semi"desk" job. I even parked in the 2nd parking lot, leaving a closer space for someone "new" to NWB. I was sure this was my last trip across the really long lot on my knee walker (which I secretly hate). I even held really still for xrays.

Then in comes Dr. C and what I guess is his intern (I forgot his name/status because I was more interested in me than him). He opens my xrays and begins the slow shaking of his head. He opens up xrays from 3 weeks ago. NO CHANGE. Absolutely no fucking bone growth. How does that happen? Nada. Nothing. Yes I smoke but not a lot and I've cut way way down to nearly quitting. (yes I know quitting is better but my mood and those 15lbs I will gain aren't good for me either right now). I've increased my, been diligent about my calcium. Drank a ton of milk and OJ, got sleep.

When I was 18 I decided Depo Provera was the birth control for me. Through a succession of shitty military doctors I stayed on it for the next 13 or so years with the occasional break. Perhaps none of them paid attention, read past history etc until one day one of them went WHAT??. Apparently 3 years is the max you should stay on it, it apparently sucks the calcium out of your bones. I had a bone scan, my bones are well past my age but not bad enough to need anything.

Is it time to worry now? What happens if the bone doesn't grow, I mean it has to right? It can't just NOT grow, I need this foot. I'm getting a bone stimulator this week. I'm going distract myself from my non walking depression and research them.

a little something

2010-11-06T19:47:00.000-04:00

because I have not taken the time to write anything I will distract you with incredibly cute pictures of my dogs at Halloween

so

2010-10-30T20:10:00.002-04:00

I dropped & broke my laptop, it's just not that fun to blog from a phone. R has it "rigged" for now so I'll catch back up soon...
(I broke the backlight)

DIRT

2010-10-17T17:03:00.000-04:00

is everywhere in my house & I mean everywhere. I can clean the kitchen counters & an hour later a fine film of DIRT is on them. It is highly aggravating. My cleaning abilities are limited from both the knee scooter & the wheelchair. It doesn't help that over 1/2 my yard is too shady w/ puny soil to grow grass. Moses doesn't help either as he has taken to digging huge holes because he is bored (walking 2 giant dogs while not walking yourself is impossible). Lulu has become his cohort and likes to mix the dirt with her drool for a lovely mud paste she smears on everything. I can't keep my fingernails clean even. R just spent most of the day cleaning because he knows that a clean house = a happy me. Sad to say it will be dusty again tomorrow. I feel like I'm living in a sod house in the dust bowl during the depression.

I spent the hour he was cleaning browsing for alternatives to grass in the yard. Because I can't grow anything I've decided to mulch in the whole thing, then add some rock gardens for contrast. I'm hoping I get the all clear to stand upright this week so I can begin the work.....

nom nom nom

2010-09-29T23:49:00.000-04:00

So I slept like poo last night, mostly because I was mad at R for getting me the wrong haircolor. I'm not sure why it was such a big deal. I got up early for my 6 week recheck, spent over an hour I10 because everyone felt the need to stare at 2 cars on the side of the road. Basically my foot is progressing like it should but my hopes of walking early are flushed. Apparently the bone was so crooked they had to make a HUGE opening, I've got some bone growth but still a big gap of nothing. Take some calcium he says... wow, don't you think that would have been good to tell me 6 weeks ago... good thing I suck down vitamins and V8 to make up for how much I abhor the taste of veggies.

I came home long enough to realize Lulu has chewed the cord to my new Iphone.... because something w/ that cute of a face does no wrong, I'm sure R will somehow ask why I gave it to her.... uggg

Spent a decent 1/2 day at work. I really need to find a wheelchair to leave there.... office chairs don't really roll very well. Met R after work for a quick trip to Walmart, because I have a gift card not because I'm crazy. Wow that was entertaining.

So we get home & I'm waiting in the car while R opens the door and I see him talking to the dogs. How sweet I think, he likes them more and more. Then I hear.... "wait till you see what they did...". I come into SNOW. I cut up some very nice, rather expensive memory foam that doesn't fit on the king size bed & put it under the couch cushions... makes them tons more comfy, then made the rest into dog beds.

Apparently Pilgrim was a bit stressed by the weather and by being alone today so he took it ALL out and tore it into 2" pieces... fun times crawling around to clean that up. Everyone got a dose of Rescue Remedy with their fatty acid supplements tonight. I've set the Xanax out for tomorrow and it's going to be very hard not to put one in my coffee.

I'd post a pic but there is a little problem of that chewed cord...

Today

2010-09-24T20:38:00.000-04:00

I went back to work for the first time in like 5 weeks. It was for all of 5 hours. I sat there the whole time, minus when I wheeled my office chair to the back and my boss had to push me back up front. I'm happy to be back and to see most people.

I also did the very productive task of buying LuLu a Halloween costume. I love Halloween and HAVE TO be better by then. I'm hoping to convince my friend to get her 2 bulldogs the same costume then we are going to dress Pilgrim up like the big bad wolf. Yes Moses is more furry and more outgoing, but he doesn't play well with dogs with testicles and there will be some at the dog party.

I'm going eat some wings now....

zoom zoom

2010-09-19T23:42:00.000-04:00

So R is rather into cars, not your average every day cars but zoom zoom fast cars we will never be able afford until we win the lotto (=never). We started talking about cars we have driven/owned today at coffee so I decided to look a few up... and share them with you. (not my actual pics, except Bertha...)

Plymouth Volare Wagon... silver to be exact. I drove it into a 6 foot ditch on the way to RRR, broke the steering column....

Datsun B210, it was that amazing orangeish color you see over there>>>
I bought it for $1. It didn't make it to MS... I'm not sure where it ended up.

Mine was red and I loved it. It has been customized w/ shag carpeting, blue and green mood lights, wood panels on the walls and a large bed in the back. Somehow my parents allowed me to drive this all through highschool.

My truck looked something like this, 8" lift, 36" tires, a huge mudtruck, I liked wenching the boys out when they got stuck. Someone kidnapped it and I'm sure chopped it into little bitty pieces. :(

This was my first "adult" brand new car purchase. Unfortunately it was cursed and suffered many unfortunate not my fault accidents and had to be sold.

I LOVED my jeep, loved loved loved it. I lifted it, I put big tires on it and I lost it in the divorce.

This was my constellation "prize" for the jeep, T tops and all. It was fast, it broke down a lot and I sold it.

Nice safe reliable Altima, I'm not really sure why I sold it but i did

Ah, Sally, my mustang. I <3 her. She as been a nice fun reliable car. Rather impractical for anything other than driving yourself and one other small person in the front seat. She does not know I'm selling her soon... shhhhh

Bertha, I <3 her too but not as much as Sally. She is the dogmobile, however unreliable as of late. She too does not realize she will soon be sold because my house is starting to look like a used car lot w/ all the vehicles and when R brings home his work van I think the neighbors will quit talking to us.

Saturday in pictures

2010-09-18T21:12:00.000-04:00

I made carob cupcakes... they taste about as good as they look, the wheat flour was too strong.

I watched LuLu dig a hole and couldn't get to her. She then proceeded to climb into the tub w./ her shampoo somehow. I have no idea how long she was in there but she painted the entire thing w/ mud (tub and floor)

I just realized that my bottle of whip cream in a can said this>>>>>>>>

I also got to go to walmart where I saw this attractive outfit.

Today is

2010-09-14T15:46:00.000-04:00

day 25. There are 52 more days to go. I can't get out of this funk. I'm frustrated at not being able to do things. I'm not an overly active person, I can't imagine how mental I would be if I was. However i want to go tidy the porch and be able to fully make the bed and carry the dirty clothes and myself to the laundry. Stupid little things that help my 1/2 OCD. (It's not full OCD because there is dust in my house I ignore, however I polish the coffee pot once a day and the kitchen counters at least twice.). Poor Rich, he takes the brunt of my aggravation being the only adult I now talk to on a daily basis.

This week mostly I'm neurotic about work. I thought i would have enough projects to get me through. I did however I'm done them now. The schedule at work was already done so here I get to sit for 2 3/4 weeks longer than I planned. I was hopeful for some hours when a few people got disciplinary leave but out of site out of mind. I've made my day stretch on as long as possible and it's still not cutting it. I've never been rich but it's never been this tight. Quitting my civil service job for stress and loosing my 2nd job didn't help me stay ahead, just even. Don't get me wrong I love my job now, however I'm in the ranks of the paycheck to paycheck americans and the mortgage is due.

I'm going feel sorry for feeling sorry for myself.

LuLu is a bad dog

2010-09-13T13:28:00.000-04:00

I did NOT want a 6th dog, especially not a puppy and especially not right before surgery. For a variety of reasons that would let everyone know I'm not as much of a hard ass as I seem, she is staying. Housebreaking her is NOT fun but she is slowly getting it. I was happy to find no poo in the house this morning.

So just a few minutes ago I'm sitting at the kitchen table working and in runs LuLu headed for the dog door. She hits it bounces off, tries 2 more times and out she goes. Now this is usually a sign she has something she shouldn't because in her haste to escape, she misses getting the "prize" out the door. (granted this isn't very hard as a full overgrown human fits through the door & no I'm not worried about burglars, they will be eaten before they get that far).

I then see her turn around and look at me with one of my shoes in her mouth & off she trots to the corner of the porch. I roll around to the other patio door prepared to crawl outside and save the shoe. (the chair and the walker don't fit through that door) and see why she didn't poop in the house this morning. I guess on the patio is close enough in her eyes. And I guess I know that her daddy will be scrubbing the porch when he gets home.

Tell me this face doesn't look a little guilty?

is this normal?

2010-09-12T23:18:00.001-04:00

I currently despise my doctor for not giving me something for this BURNING NERVE PAIN. I can't sleep for more than an hour or so at a time. He was also no help in the "is this normal"? category. However after spending several hours on google it is normal and no one can sleep through ito . A call to my doctor produced pretty much "stay home with your foot up" and we will see you on the 29th. Lucky me I found some neurontin left over from my back & I think it is starting to help.

My mental health is declining, I don't remember it being this bad last time. So far only 2 people have come to visit and one only because she needed her hair done. I don't really need them to sit around bored with my obnoxious dogs, come take me to lunch or run by for 5 min after work to say hi. Makes me wonder if I've ever acted like this to anyone, makes me wonder if we really are friends... ah well.

I spent the last hour trying to decide if this really going to last 12 weeks. Some people with an open wedge osteotomy heal in about 6-8 weeks. That makes me happy, it's not 12 weeks. My Achilles Tendon Lengthening however I can find nothing on. Someone said it doesn't start healing for 4 weeks. It doesn't even bother me and I'm already working on stretching it.

I'm going to watch "Hoarders" now so I can feel slightly normal.

It's only Friday

2010-09-10T13:59:00.000-04:00

I'm officially bored. I have no idea where that list of things in my head to do that I never have time to do went. Well some of it. Like dusting the ceiling fans, kinda hard on one leg with no balance.

I made R promise to take me to the grocery store tomorrow. I"m way too excited about it, including riding around in the hovaround. I feel trapped and confined and gross cause it's hard to bath sitting down. I've gotten into the habit of rolling up to the table and starting to work. It's 2 pm and I'm in the same clothes I wore yesterday. I'm not sure what happened to the shower and fix my hair every morning.

I had to have been this stir crazy last surgery. I was stuck upstairs for like 6 weeks. I'm ordering a knee walker this week hopefully. It got some not so great reviews about not turning so well but because insurance doesn't cover it and I'm broke from not working it will have to do. I had been using a regular old people walker on wheels but its awkward because my good leg is behind not beside it and I feel my balance is off and i'm gong to fly forward. This thing is supposedly light and sturdy so maybe it will help me get out of the house, even just to get the mail.

Ok, I have to go crawl out the back door and rescue my last very good favorite flip flop from the jaws of Lulu.

and for posterity here is a picture of my sausage toes (note I did not elevate it yesterday and have not put my brace on yet today)

Sausage foot

2010-09-03T17:07:00.000-04:00

Today I figured out how to do laundry, vacuum and mop from the wheelchair. I wish now I hadn't.

Achy Breaky not so much

2010-09-03T17:04:00.000-04:00

I'm not sure why he felt the need to contact me 400 something odd days after breaking my heart. Maybe to appease some guilt at being a deceitful slimy pig, or perhaps just curiosity on how my life is now. I really could have gone the rest of my life without hearing from him. I don't care if he's left your wife or decided to stay with her. I don't care if he has decided to have 10 more kids or his 3 yr old is a genius who won the noble piece prize.

I would like to thank him for breaking my heart. Pretty much the best thing that ever happened to me. I didn't think so at the time, now however I'm grateful. I'm happy it happened exactly when it did so I was "looking" for R at the right time. Perhaps he could have waited till after my birthday but it just goes to remind me of the "man" he was.

I've found the perfect man now thanks to him. The guy I've been waiting my whole life for and didn't know it. . He's kind and thoughtful, he isn't scared to touch Jelly legs, he's proud to introduce me to his family, he thinks of those 1000 little things that make your day and the 5 big things that make your day too.

So maybe his email was to remind me how lucky I am that he broke my heart.

Frankenstein boot

2010-09-01T22:52:00.000-04:00

Today I got a walking cast. I'm not sure why they want to torture me with it as they made sure to tell me not to walk in it. It looks like this & weighs like 500lbs. It will probably help build up my thigh muscles. I can also shave.

And that's about it for today because I just realized I'm starving and tired and my butt hurts.

Go away today

2010-08-31T08:24:00.000-04:00

I'm not happy with today and it's only 8am. Granted I decided this last night at 10pm, it's still not helping. I don't feel like being cheerful or nice or thankful for what I have. Instead I'm frustrated. Frustrated I can't walk. Yes I knew it was coming, yes I did it to myself and I should be thankful I'm not permanently disabled. Instead I'm aggrivated I can't go in the yard and look for Jimmy Hoffa's collar and I'm irritated that as I type I hear the dogs playing who can throw the food bowl the farthest and they seem to know by the time i get over to them they can run outside. I'm frustrated I didn't get my fat ass in shape enough to at least use crutches some. I'm frustrated the regular rolling walker I just spent the last of my "extra" money on isn't even close to the knee walker I really want, even though everyone said it would be.

I'm going drink some coffee now and smoke even though I'm supposed to not be doing that either and perhaps I can figure out how to be grateful for the things I do have....

Remember

2010-08-28T21:38:00.000-04:00

6 down, 78 to go

2010-08-26T12:12:00.000-04:00

Well I really thought I would have time to do more. Catch up on blogging, watch the 25 episodes of Desperate Housewives I had recorded, but alas I do not. It takes 10 minutes and some acrobatics to pee by myself. Then I have the neurotic things like making sure the bed is made. Not exactly easy in a wheelchair & my not so big bedroom. I've figured out how to use my other wheelchair to hop into the garage so I can do laundry & tend the cats. I might have figured out how to wedge the chair between the dishwasher and the sink. Today I'm going to figure out how to use the sweeper vac and maybe try and wash the couch cover. I'm not that bored and R would do it if I asked, I even made him a list. For some reason I feel like if I don't do it, it won't get done. I'm slightly neurotic about a few things being clean around here. I'm not as anal as I could be, I watch Obsessed. But I have like 12 pets, they go inside and outside and track in dirt and leave little hairs on things and drool. I have to be a bit neurotic so i look like i live with 5 and not 12 of the little furred destroyers.
eThey are going to have to let me walk early. I can't do this no walking for 78 more days. The wheelchair makes it OK to get around. I've decided I can't afford a knee walker but am going to try one of those seated old people walkers for 1/4 of the price. Someone with a broken leg said they work as well, just bend your knee up on them and roll right around. Crutches are out. I'm not sure how 1/2 the broken leg people in the world zip around on them but its not for me. I'm in this predicament because I can't walk upright on my own 2 feet in the first place, now they want to put me on a tripod. Not to mention I have no upper arm muscles, even when i was in shape i had no muscles, now I have 2 bowling balls hanging off my chest weighing them down and the size of my butt seems to throw it all off balance.

Enough rambling, I'm going to try and shower and make the bed now... here are a few pictures of my new metal implants for your viewing pleasure.

LuLu

2010-08-07T22:44:00.001-04:00

Trying to teach Lulu to skateboard. Not going so well. (p.s., the sprite bottle is her favorite toy, hence it's place on the living room floor)

Xray by numbers

2010-08-06T10:04:00.000-04:00

Yes my blogging sucks lately but pretty soon I will be unable to walk for 3 months and you'll be way tired of me :). I'll pretty much be obsessing about my foot during that time so I thought I would start would start w/ before. Well not really before before, like when I had a normal foot but before the 2nd time I fell down the same handicap ramp at work and injured the same foot. (excuse the poor quality of the pics and xrays, i was using my kitchen window as a viewbox)

1) this is the main problem area, pushed way up from where it should be it causes me to walk on (2), my navicular which should really be the top of your arch. It is getting plates and screws and smashed back where it belongs.

2) this is my navicular. It is screwed back together, it also had a piece of accessory navicular removed

3) this still grosses me out when I feel the screw. Yeah like when it's cold or i put any pressure on my heel. They cut my heel bone, turned it about 180 and screwed it back on to try and make an arch. Didn't work so well.

4) Yay for bunions, makes me sound like an old lady but its more a result of the other wonky parts of my foot. This will be surgery part #2, it gets cut, straightened, lengthened, pinned and filled w/ bone wax.

5) I have no picture of 5. I googled it but it grossed me out. Tendo Achilles Lengthening. basically from what I understand they make a few cuts in my achilles, stretch it out and my foot will sit on straight. The pictures are not pretty. I will share them when I have them because I'll have lots and lots of time to blog about after :)

Dance like no one is watching

2010-07-07T10:56:00.000-04:00

was pretty bad advice for this guy...

So yesterday I took Moses to McDonalds. I generally try and avoid the place because my large butt does not need to eat a weeks worth of calories in one sitting. However Moses had just donated blood and was a very good boy so I though he needed a burger or 3. Apparently McDs is a happen place at 11am on Tuesday so I had a bit of a wait but thankfully I had some on site entertainment. I was in line for probably 10min and this guy danced away the whole time oblivious to the rest of the world and his lack of dance skills.

(Please excuse the NPR in the background, I am old now and that is what I listen to)

I'm back.... sort of

2010-07-07T10:26:00.000-04:00

It's amazing how much time men take up. I really had no idea that once they moved in your free time went away. I wouldn't trade it for the world, however I seem to have forgotten about blog land. I'm going to slowly creep back in. I'm sure when I'm out of work with my foot you will become tired of me. Just wanted to throw that out there incase anyone still reads this.

Welcome to the home of misfit.... dogs

2010-06-07T21:18:00.001-04:00

I love Pilgrim, issues and all. I've recounted numerous times the things he has eaten in my house. I lived with a decorated by dog coffee table till R moved in. R brought his sectional, his entertainment cubby, his flat screen tv, his x box and other breakable looking electronic devices.

I have warned him. He knows that there are 2 giant dogs here that sometimes play 'herd of rabid stampeding elephants'. And they sometimes play it inside.

I came home a few weeks ago and the flat screen had been hung - mid wall. Rather comfy if you are slouching down on the couch & not much taller than 5'2". I request to make it higher resulted in 5 inches. It is perfect dog head level. R had to clean Moses drool off of it. I give it 2 weeks till it goes up higher.

Decorated by dog coffee table was given over to the trash at R's request. It was far from attractive, however one chew mark blended with the rest. I was offered Rs coffee table, hand made by his dead grandfather. I warned, Pi has ADD & hates that R sleeps in HIS side of the bed, it will be fine R assured me, Pi & I are buds....

I think Pi has taken back his bff request. The coffee table and its splintered parts are now in the garage. I'm about to google how to glue it back together. R has gone for a ride. I'm not sure if it was the table or the fact I couldn't stop laughing when he said... we can't cater our lives around the dogs....

Swimming kittens

2010-06-01T08:43:00.001-04:00

Is what I came home to last Friday. R has spent the day working on a friends suspension. He went inside about 6pm to find the foster kittens (living in the spare bathroom) playing in about an inch of water. The water has also turned the spare room, bedroom, kitchen and hallway into a small swimming pool. Thankfully I have stained concrete in the whole house & the linoleum in the kitchen is just a cheap temporary fix until we can Pergo it... By the time I got home he & his friend had cut a few holes in the wall to locate the leak. (make that 3 really big people size holes in the bedroom) No such luck.

I had the dreaded slab leak. Someone had the brilliant idea to bury the crappy copper pipes in the slab. Perhaps this is good idea somewhere, but really, what were they thinking? Perhaps it is the same person that thought covering both bathrooms in wall to wall mirrors was a good idea, or the mini atrium in the middle of the house.

A call to the local utilities reveals that I have been using about 5x as much water for the past month, 5x. Why don't they have some system in place for that? You can make your credit card notify you for large purchases, why can't they notify you for excessive usage. I don't even want to see the bill thats coming next week.

The leak takes about 1 1/2 hrs to start coming up through the floor, found this out when searching for it the next day. That means I get like 25min of water a day. I've become an expert at the 10min shower and doing really fast loads of dishes and laundry. I realize the toilet doesn't have to get flushed every time and I can brush my teeth on 3/4 a cup of water. Wonder how much was actually going down the drain when I let the water run.

Lucky for me R is rather handy and re-piping supplies were about 1/3 of the cost of a plumber. Unlucky for me he is actually getting hours at work & I'll be taking my 10 min showers for about another week.

Verbandtasche

2010-05-03T21:54:00.000-04:00

So R works for Mercedes. The other day he brings me home a first aid kit for the car. I like to think it is because he is sweet & caring. However I'm pretty sure it is because he has hung around me long enough to know that I'll need it.

So tonight I decide to open it up. I was expecting perhaps some fun German bandaids, or their version of asprin, maybe a road flare or two. Not so much. There are at least 10 rolls of gauze in there, a rain poncho and a VERY large pair of scissors. Oh and a burn dressing.
.

So it prompted me to look up the average American car first aid kit. Apparently they are eqipped with everything you need to call for help, some alchol wipes and a rain poncho.

Apparently in Germany you HAVE to carry this kit. Perhaps in Germany they have faith people will actually help each other, while here in America we will be happy if they waive the orange SOS sign for you...

Starting over

2010-05-01T05:59:00.000-04:00

I'm starting over next week. Maybe it's not over, it's a step forward. I'm nervous, scared, excited, worried, ecstatic & a few other things. It's going to be a lot of change at once. It's a really good thing.

I thought about starting over here too, but decided not to. Not everything needs to be fresh and new. I think I need to look back here and remember it really was the worst, best, hardest thing, ever. But mostly the best.

I think I'll start with moving the dog door.

Death or more death?

2010-04-29T22:44:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow is the sentencing for my friend Andreas trial. I have no idea what it holds. The trial itself was nothing like I expected. I'm hoping for no more gruesome pictures, I'm not sure I've suppressed what I saw last time.

Everyone keeps saying, I hope they fry the fucker. Really what good does that do? If I've heard correctly they get 5 years of appeals. Then they sit around for another 20 or so and we hook them up and fry them. Or shoot them up with something or who knows what we will have in 20 years.

There is also life without parole. I kind of like that one, but only if he gets put in general population. For the 3 years he has been in custody he has been in solitary and on suicide watch. Suicide watch? really? can't we just give him some extra rope? Save us a ton of money and even more heartache. I do not find his life worth saving, if God wants it saved then he will keep him from killing himself, on my end I wish he would off himself. My hope is that if he gets put in general population, he can become someone's bitch. Or like last time he was in jail, when they found out what he did to the little girl before Andrea and set him on fire. That would be even better.

Someone told me they kept rapist in solitary. I'll have to look into that. Seems the system is full of repeat offenders that just go on to bigger and better crimes, they are getting out of solitary somewhere. Perhaps they should just group them all together, survival of the fittest.....

I want to hope for justice served, but in my world you pay for your crimes,. An eye for an eye. That will never happen here, because you see we are a just and fair nation. A nation that comes up with a million new rights for criminals who tossed theirs away the moment they took the rights of another human being.

I miss you Andrea...

Day #579374

2010-04-17T08:46:00.000-04:00

My blog is lacking. Mostly because my inspiring thoughts (aka: voices in my head) only seem to come around as I'm trying to fall asleep. I'm not really sure what is keeping me so busy. 12 hours of work, a furry zoo and a seemingly endless supply of sick / orphan puppies. It's not housework, just ask the dust bunny that blew by. It's not laundry because that is where I left it.

This week it's cooking. Not cooking like most of you normal people do. I started a diet Wednesday. Probably the 340834 I've been on in the past 10 years since my metabolism quit working and I used cheeseburgers to comfort myself during a really shitty marriage. I've been on a few that worked for a while, 20lbs come off and then seem to come back and bring their friends.

A few things all at once have made me determined for this one to work. I bent over and split my scrub pants last week, not up the butt like most do, but down the side. My favorite jeans don't fit. It's about to turn the same degrees as hell here in FL and I'm tired of wearing tanks under all my shirts to squish the fat. I put a battery in the scale & it scared me. I'm dating an amazing guy who recently lost a lot of weight & got the muscle of a god. He has this off form of guilt where he doesn't really say anything but you somehow feel bad ordering that burger instead of the fish. I need foot surgery. This will leave me unable to walk for 6-12 weeks. when your fat & out of shape crutches are impossible, especially for someone with the coordination of a seizuring monkey.

So far so good. I really don't like food prep, however it has become immensely easier since J reminded me that things can be cooked ahead and stored... duh. I'm pretty much never hungry & when I am, its time to eat. I do however miss carbs. My carbs on this diet are limited to good carbs & none after afternoon snack. I'm a carb addict. I could live on bread and cheese or pizza. I take any meat I'm served, including steak and make it a sandwich with whatever bread supply is available. I drool over biscuits. I haven't bough white bread in years for fear I will eat the entire loaf in a sitting. Giving up the sweet & chocolate isn't as hard as I thought, I've managed to buy my protein bars & shakes in chocolate flavor. Not really even close to real chocolate but thanks to a mom that raised me on some kind of Shaklee carob thing, I don't mind the flavor at all. I do have free day once a week & I've purged my house of "bad things" so even on free day I won't be tempted to go crazy. That way I'll have to eat decently healthy or go to a "sit down" restaurant for actual real food.

So my rambling is done, I need to go enjoy my egg white omelet and mustard. (The mustard is my idea, I think everything should be served with mustard).

who needs flowers?

2010-04-02T06:12:00.000-04:00

So yesterday a client brought in the lone survivor of a litter of puppies. Actually it was the dog's 3rd litter and the other litters had died also. Some people don't learn very fast. The puppy is about 3 weeks old and very pale and crying. They have been bottle fedding the puppy but she is very weak from fleas, worms and poor nutrition. Unable to afford treatment the owners sign the puppy over to me. M is nice enough to have B run their big mutt Louie to the clinic to donate blood which does wonders for the puppy.

I volunteered for puppy duty mostly because I've raised hundreds of orphan animals and am rather anal about how its done. We also dubbed the puppy "April Louise" because I'm cheesy & it's April & Louie helped save her. This little one needs to eat every 3 hours or so. She really wants to nurse but is very resistant to the bottle. On a side note, how do you moms figure out what bottle to use, there were 2 HUGE walls of bottles at the store last night. I've resorted to tube feeding which is risky but works very well. I'm hoping when she gets this huge catheter out of her neck she will feel more like nursing.

So last night I let R know that I would be up again at 2am if he wanted to call since he usually stays up all night when he doesn't have to work. I fall asleep about midnight and about 159am I hear the phone go off, aggravated that I'm getting a text 10 min before I get up I pick up the phone to yell at him. "I'm outside". Really? mean trick to play on a sleep deprived person. But yes really. He had driven 45 minutes to help me feed the puppy. He wanted to make sure I got up OK and like a baby he thinks both "parents" should help. That has to be the sweetest thing anyone has every done. He hung out till the 515 feeding then headed back home to sleep.

Thanks Dad for my flat feet

2010-03-25T17:56:00.000-04:00

So I want to whine about my foot for a while, hooray blog for listening to me. Sometime back in 99-00 I fell down at ramp at work. Lovely workers comp doctor told me it was sprained. This sprain lasted something like 6 months until I just gave up on it. Fast forward about 2-3years and I'm at a new job with rather decent insurance. Said foot still hurts pretty much all the time and is slowly getting worse.
get a referral to an orthopedic foot specialist type doctor. He is a great doctor from what I could tell. Even if he sucked, he has amazing bedside manor. Think Dr. 90210 but not quite as attractive, same sexy accent, more gray hair. So he takes some Xrays, same as useless workers comp doctors did. I apparently have damage to my accessory navicular. This ends up being a PTT tear, chipped navicular and some messed up connective stuff to my accessory navicular. So since my big butt had been walking on said injury for like 4 years, he decides to do surgery. I get screws in here: (not my foot)

I also end up with a calcaneal osteotomy, which basically means they cut my heel bone off? turned it about 90 degrees or so and screwed it back on that way. (to fix my flat foot). Not my xray but it looks something like this:

I think I almost went insane not being able to walk for 6 weeks. They took away my crutches after I fell the 2nd time. I spent 6 weeks STUCK in the house and only left once I figured out how to crawl down the 3 flights of steps and to the car and someone took me for a ride. Foot pretty much heals and minus not being able to walk in anything but flats, it is all good.

Fast forward till last November, I'm back at original job. I fall down same ramp. I thankfully am not the only person who has done this, I just seem to damage myself more. Figuring I just sprained it and not want to put my boss through a big workers comp thing or even have to deal with it, I put some ice on it and go about my day. I finally take myself to the doctor in late December where I'm told to take some tylenol and rest. 3 weeks later there is no relief and no xray results. After much yelling I'm able to get a referal to the same foot surgeon who suggest an MRI. (which by the way my insurance paid a whopping 100 of the 1100, while I'm grateful for the coverage, I'm not sure the payment is worth what I'm getting out of it)

I went back for the results today, nothing torn, nothing broken. Now granted I'm not in shape, but I've always been able to walk a long distance. I can't make it more than 30min on my foot now. Around the block is out of the question. The arch is totally gone in my foot and I'm walking on what I'm pretty sure is my navicular bone, I can feel & see it hit the ground, it doesn't do that on the other side. He mentions casting, orthotics, fusion surgery (triple arthrodesis). He is leaning toward surgery. Yes I know surgeons like to cut, but I don't think he is hurting for business. The office is always full, he treats the NFL players in the area. I don't want surgery. All I can think about is that 6 weeks of not walking. Fusion usually requires 12 weeks in a cast, months and months (I read a few that were 5 months or more) of rehab. I can't mentally or emotionally handle that. He decides I can have a UCBL orthotic. My insurance doesn't cover it, there goes 1/2 my savings, I hope the roof stays on a few more years. I ask him what else I can do.... he says pray, and oh, give money to the church.

Hey it's worth a try if there is any left over after I pay them all.

The twentyfirst century?

2010-03-23T10:06:00.000-04:00

If today says a high of 70...

Then why is it really only going to be 66...

I had a sunny yard day planned.... who wants to wear shorts when its 56....

You can do it...

2010-03-17T21:18:00.000-04:00

Said in my best Rob Schneider voice. I am a strong independent woman... or so I like to think. I bought a house, I own 2 cars (yes own, paid for). I hold a job, live alone, pay bills mostly on time and manage to feed myself. I graduated high school and part of college, I hold a full time job and a part time one. They have even let me be in charge of people and no one died.

Today my little sister reminded me that she graduates in May. Big time, will have to call her doctor graduate. I should go visit. I haven't seen her since 2006, haven't seen anyone since my mother since 2006 and its been nearly 2 years for my mother. I don't travel much I dont enjoy it and it cost a weeks salary to get care for this zoo.

The biggest part of travel is the well traveling. I make an amazing car passenger. If you let me out to pee every 2.5 hours I will sleep the rest of the way. You can sing, smoke, blast the radio and drive like a maniac and you won't hear a word from me. I cannot drive. 1 hour in and I will do the above mentioned sleeping, regardless of the fact that I should be steering the car. Flying is pretty much out, especially alone. Yes I know 8 year old that fly alone, I am not one of them. I must fly drugged or sedated or drunk or all of the above. I need a babysitter. I fear I will die, I fear the air in the plane will disappear and the walls will close in. The people next to me always touch me or my big butt ends up touching them. They have germs or they may be terrorist. I used to fly all the time, then 9-11 happened and I got stuck in DC and decided flyin was bad. I have flown maybe 3x since then. Twice to Mexico with my friends. Once to VA with my mother. I can't do it again, just can't.

Which I know is retarded. It is "safer" to fly and about $100 cheaper, not counting wear and tear on my old car(s). I need a telaporter or like to start walking now.

Moving on up

2010-03-12T18:32:00.000-05:00

R is moving in soon. There I said it out loud. I'll go back and read it some more, perhaps then it will sink in. We have been kind of planning this for a while. It probably won't happen for a few more months but I've already decided to stress about it.

When I thought of it the first time, I did cleaning stress. This is where I decided that obcessively cleaning/organizing/making a bigger mess is the only way to fix things. I have 2 boxes of clothes in the bedroom. There are 2 more boxes of random things in the living room. There is a basket of 65 books. There are twice as many books still on the shelf and I feel the need to go through the closet again.

Today I decided I should have mental stress about it. What if I don't remember how to live with anyone? I have lived alone for the past 10 years. No roomates, just me and the furry ones. What if I don't know how to do this? What if I don't like the way he makes the bed, or squeezes the toothpaste. Do I really care?

I think Ill go back to cleaning, it seems more productive...

Beware the Ides of March....

2010-03-10T21:01:00.000-05:00

I think it came a few days early this year. Today is Wednesday. Middle of the week. Average, boring, nothing exciting, nothing on TV, Wednesday.

I did not want to get out of bed this morning. Jelly jumped on my head and started licking me so I did. We are cross training at work so I had someone new up front who I had to teach everything. It was busy and I was feeling a bit frazzled. About 10:30 my very pregnant, on bed rest, co-worker comes in to deliver babyshower invites. We chat for about 2 seconds and she leaves. About 3 seconds later someone opens the front door and I hear one of the most horrific screams/yells sounds I have ever heard. I thought maybe it had come from the waiting room TV. I got up and went around the front of the desk, pregnant co-worker comes running inside screaming for someone to call 911. I ask what, she screams he's hurt, he's bleeding, get a towel. I see someone sitting in a car and blood everywhere. I grab a towel and run outside. I realize that it is her boyfriend. I scream at her about 10 more times and finally get her to go back inside. No one wants the baby to fall out yet. He is awake enough to tell me he shot himself. Sure enough there is a 40 on the passenger side floor and a hole in his thigh spurting blood. I've had CPR training, First Aid training, disaster training, FEMA training and I think it all left me. I don't do well with hurt humans. I smash 2 towels down on his thigh and hold pressure w/ all my might. Meanwhile he is grabbing my arm and moaning. . He turned white as a sheet, which is hard for a half Puerto Rican. He passes out, his pulls goes all thready and weak and the thought crosses my mind that CPR won't help if he has bled out and that I don't know what to do next. He finally comes around and I'm pretty sure I told him to lay still and shut up. I thought for sure it had been 20 minutes and I couldn't figure out why no one else was helping me. Another friend comes outside and realizes he's bleeding out the side of his leg too. There is about 3 liters of blood under the car, not including what has soaked into the seat or my pants, shoes and arms. I asked again for someone to call 911 again, to make sure they realized he was bleeding to death on me. He is awake at this point enough to tell me he can't feel or move his leg, I told him that was ok because I couldn't feel my hand either. The cops show up a few minutes later, took the gun away. EMTs showed up after that, like 6 of them. Sad i was shaking and covered in blood... they were kind of hot. They had machines and oxygen and worked amazingly well together. I went back inside and went back to work... only to realize I was shaking so bad I had to go sit outside for a few minutes.

Found out later that our direct pressure may have saved him, he has severed the femoral vein, not as bad as a femoral artery but still bleeds like a mother. He spent 3 hours in surgery but will recover just fine and perhaps put the gun away until he can take a safety class or 5.

and to think on the real Ides of March this year the moon will not be full...

about time

2010-03-09T20:36:00.000-05:00

I’ve let blogging slip. I started this blog as an outlet during a really crappy time in my life when I thought my heart was broken and would never heal. That breakup was the best thing that ever happened to me, but that’s a whole other blog.

I’ve been telling myself that I need to write about Andrea’s trial. Perhaps I should have written while thing were still fresh in my mind. I composed a few paragraphs in my head, but they never did fit right. I’m going to try and write a few things now, though I’m not sure they are going to flow right. I’ve put a lot of things back in that little safe place in my head. That place where you stick things you don’t want to forget but that are too horrid to think about every day.

I remember where I was when I got the call that Andrea was dead. I was at the house in Riverside, up early even though I had taken the day off. It wasn’t my normal day off, I don’t think I was starting vacation, but I can’t remember exactly why I had taken the time off. In retrospect, I’m glad I did now. I remember wanting to go to the office and see everyone but then decided to stay home. The next few days were a blur/jumble of what happened when. I was only working at the office part time then, weekends and the occasional evening, having “left” to work full time for the city. Actually taking over a job Andrea left when she went to the office to take over mine. I don’t think it hit me until months and months later that I went there alone 100s of times too. We (friends, co-workers etc) got together quite a few times that week, comfort, support etc. I took Dog with me everywhere those days after that. Nothing like a large Doberman to make you feel safe. He was great during that time, perfectly behaved and he had a way of just walking up to someone upset and standing close enough to be supportive but not crowding and asking for attention. I hope he found Andrea in heaven.

I remember when they caught the bastard that killed her. DNA. Perfect I thought, now he goes to jail and gets put on death row. If only life were that simple.

I don’t consider myself naïve, but I think when it came to stuff like this I was. . It all sounds good in Civics class. Trial, jury of your peers, the great justice system. I don’t think I realized this last month they don’t swear on the Bible anymore. It hit me that life isn’t like CSI and forensics isn’t as great as they make it out to be on TV. They want you to believe that people are going to tell the truth when they get up there and say they will.

I think I went through the entire realm of emotions during that trial. I can’t imagine where her family felt. I sealed myself for crime scene photos, but when the first one went up I wanted to run, scream and throw up all at once. However I had to sit stock still. Any emotion or outburst can be used to throw out the trial. I was an avid reader of true crime. I’ve seen a thousand horror movies. NOTHING and I mean nothing prepares you for seeing someone you know maimed like that. Nothing. I walk over the spot she was murdered many times nearly every day. Many of the same things are there. Part of me wants to plead for them all to be thrown out, replaced, made new. I try not to think about them, about the details of what happened. I figured out how to breathe my way through anxiety attacks when I walk through there alone. I still think about it every single time I walk by there. I wonder if that’s bad?

I knew the things the lawyers dredged up to try and cast doubt about Andrea. The “seedy” parts of her life, most of them however, legal. Piercings tattoos. Really? In this day and age where 70% of people my age have them and they are going to try to slam her character with those. I have twice the number she did, does that make me deserving of murder? The testimony of her murderer, Michael Jackson, was perhaps the most disturbing. 100% of what he said was bullshit. The hardest part to stomach for me however, was the details. The details are things that only could have been told to him by someone. Details about her past her would not have know because he was in jail while they were happening. These details were fed to him by his lawyer I can only assume. A lawyer desperate for a win. A lawyer that said he only works for defendants because he wants to uphold the law. A lawyer paid for by the state. There was no way for him to know these things unless his lawyer helped him concoct the story for his defense. Your tax dollars are hard at work. Unfortunately for Michael Jackson, it is hard to keep that many lies straight and the jury saw right thought him and found him guilty.

Sentencing was to be this Friday, but has been put off until April 30^th. I don’t know how that works. They are trying for the death penalty. Frankly I don’t care if it is that or life in prison. On death row he will live in solitary and get 20 years of appeals. Maybe with life in prison they will put him in general population and someone can kill him off in the next few weeks. I’m going to write down what I’m thinking right away after the sentencing, perhaps it will be cleansing to get it all out then.

I suck

2010-03-05T20:39:00.002-05:00

I've let blogging laps. I want to write so many and things keep coming up. Murder trail. Swine flu. I'll be back soon.

Eye for an eye

2010-02-16T20:06:00.001-05:00

Three years ago my friend was MURDERED in the office where I work. I pass the spot 15 times a day.

I'll spend the remainder of the week in court, hoping they find him guilty and decide on the death penalty. I'm a fan of the death penalty, I hope they decide to use it. Somehow I have my doubts. This judicial system that let the convicted sexual predator out of jail 17 YEARS EARLY. This same system failed us repeatedly when they tossed out trials and let him get away with PROBATION VIOLATIONS.

I hope they fry the bastard....
Yet somehow I have my doubts... FL took 24 years to fry this guy...

Crunchy Rice

2010-02-08T19:51:00.000-05:00

I can't cook. Yes CAN'T, not won't, not doesn't know how, CAN'T. I can bake, though I'm out of practice and if I didn't have an oven that randomly varies itself by 100 degrees at a whim I'd do more. I've been attempting to cook more, epic FAIL. Sticking to 1000 calories a day gets rather boring if you can't cook. I'm talking even simple box cooking. Tonight's experiment was orange chicken w/ rice. The box supplies everything but the chicken. I had at some point managed to cook and freeze some chicken. I mixed the sauce, heated the chicken and made the rice or so I thought. I followed the directions exactly. However apparently my rice needed more time to cook. Not knowing this I mixed it all up. Not so tasty when your rice is crunchy. I give.

I'm going back to heating frozen dinners in the oven so I can pretend....

How much for a tooth?

2010-02-03T22:40:00.000-05:00

So I hopped on WebMD tonight and noticed an article on the tooth fairy. I believed in the tooth fairy way longer than Santa. I once lost a molar one evening and didn't tell my parents. I was testing to see if they were "helping" the tooth fairy. However the next morning there was a quarter in my tooth fairy pillow. Not thinking that my parents probably noticed the pillow not on the shelf and slipped the quarter in, I just new in my lil heart the tooth fairy had come. I was way happy with that quarter too, a jump up from the dime I usually got.

Back to the article... the national average is $2 a tooth. I'd have knocked out my own teeth for $2 a tooth. Do you know how much candy I could have bought off that bottom rack at the gas station with $2.

And now I officially feel old.

Furry deductables

2010-02-02T23:31:00.000-05:00

I just spent like 3 hours doing my taxes. For part of that time my dogs were running suicide laps through the house, Petunia baying at the top of her lungs. I thought, damn I wish I could claim them. I'll admit it just once. I have 5 dogs and 8 cats. That doesn't include the rescues also currently staying here. That's a lot of dog food. I figure close to 200lbs a month right now. And cat food, cat litter, dog treats, bones, paper towels, wee wee pads, bleach, fill dirt, laundry etc. I love it, I'm not complaining (well a little). It takes a lot of time and even more money but I wouldn't have it any other way. I've spent thousands at my vet alone this year. And the majority of that is at cost. That doesn't include the stuff she did for free and other vets have donated for free.

All that said I spent a bit of the past few hours thinking how nice it would be if I could deduct some of that expense. I might be able to go out for a steak once and a while. Or replace that couch the cats ate. It is being proposed, a 3500$ credit for pet(s). I thought that was amazing... then I got to thinking about it.

I see the neglect, ignorance & abuse mankind heaps on what it considers "lesser beings". Its why I do what I do. I also see what happens to the neglected, impoverished children. Kids kept around for the welfare check and other government assistance and credit. I think animals will suffer the same fate if allowed to be a deduction. Get a free or cheap pet, spend $100 getting the required stuff to prove its yours and your 3500$ tax credit can live in the yard and be fed when you think about it. Better yet you can just turn it loose or kill it once you've gotten your monies worth. I think the pet deductible is a bad bad idea. I'd rather keep working 2 jobs and 50 hours a week and buying dog food before groceries if it would save even one life.

Beside that, his whole proposal looks like a joke....

All better

2010-02-01T20:12:00.000-05:00

I'm so tired of doing right

2010-01-31T14:10:00.000-05:00

and getting kicked in the butt for it. This whole impounded car thing has me sooo aggravated. I have no way to prove I sold the car 8 years ago. I'm sure I had a bill of sale &/or a copy of where I signed the title. That was 8 years ago and its long gone by now. I can't get a straight answer from ANYONE. The bank is mailing me proof of payoff for whatever good that will do. The DMV was nice enough to tell me at one time it had GA plates. They can't explain why since I have never lived in GA, had any kind of GA insurance, ID or bills etc. Hell I don't even think I've visited GA in like 10 years. The towing company lady just yelled at me in italian for not making sure that the new owner registered the car.

All I have on the car is 3 pictures, the VIN number and the plate number and apparently a huge pain in the ass. A year after I sold the car I filed for bankruptcy & listed the one car I did own at the time. Someone had to have checked that I didn't own any other cars before they let me file, however NO ONE has any answers. I keep getting told to call here and call there around and around and around.

I have another registered letter to pick up tomorrow... probably a citation from Orlando for the crappy car...

UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

I've lost my mind among other things

2010-01-28T19:59:00.000-05:00

I have a few people in my life that I depend on to remember it for me. I'm not stupid but I can't remember certain things. There are items I need from the store, I'll go to the store yet not come home with them. This is the reason I shop at Sams for stuff, I may take a year to go through 100 rolls of toilet paper, but I don't have to remember to buy it. My mother has track of my childhood. What she hasn't organized into several scrapbooks can be gotten with a phone call. Lily has my personal life under control, this includes sober and drunken adventures and people I've dated... (yes I've forgotten some of those too), but she only starts in about 2002.

This leaves a gap of quite a few years. Mainly around the time of my divorce. Thus begins the sage of the Altima.

A year or so before we split I bought a very used Altima, figuring I would have it paid off by the time he left. However once the split happened we decided to sell out boat & jeep and split the $, so I bought a Mustang. (I'm still waiting for my part of the $ but thats another story). I sold the Altima. I remember I did everything right, sign over title etc, I'm sure I did because anal retentive ex was still around and would have made sure of it. I went to the bank, paid off the $100 or so bucks I owed and signed over the title. I'm pretty sure it was to this guy who was buying it for his kid.... or maybe that was my Camero.... I DON"T REMEMBER.

So today I go to the post office to pick up a certified letter. It's an impound notice from a company in Orlando who has the Altima. They said it's still registered to me. How? Where has this car been for the last 8 years? How can someone not have tagged it for 8 years? Why did they also report this to the police and credit bureau? I have no way to prove I don't still own this car, I don't have any of that paperwork anymore. I searched my local DMV records and its not listed under me. It was originally registered in my old name, how did they find my new one? How did they find my new address? Are they trying to scam me? Did someone steal my name? Is this going to be like when the psycho ex friend put my name on her lease and "we" got evicted? How do I get this fixed?

I've had far too much caffeine today so now I'm going to drink and not think about it. Helpful suggestions welcome.

Changes

2010-01-24T20:47:00.000-05:00

I'm not really good with children. Despite several years in high school as a babysitter, something just isn't there. Most children cry when they see me, or struggle to get back to mamma. It's not like it is for cats and small dogs with me. I can tame nearly any of those, kids on the other hand, not so much.

Yesterday I had a "meet the kid" conversation with the "new" boyfriend. The last bf had a 2 year old. Pretty easy, daddy took care of her and I was just along for the ride. Her mommy soon decided I was a bad influence for the kid (yay purple hair and tattoos) so that went by the wayside. As far as I figure it, 2 yr old are easy when they don't belong to you. You give them what they want and when they scream/cry/misbehave you give them back to the parent.

"New" boyfriend has a 12 going on 13 yr old. I'm not sure this will be so easy. I remember me at 12, I was no easy. I'm afraid she is going to hold me as the one who broke up her not so happy family since they are in the middle of it all right now. I know I don't have to be her mother and I'll just be happy if she doesn't hate me. I don't know how to be responsible for another person. I'm used to furry, four legged things. You can't crate them or stick them in the yard when they misbehave. They require more entertainment than a rawhide and a squeaky duck.

I think I'm more scared to meet her than I was to meet him for the first time....

Helping the animals in Haiti

2010-01-19T18:21:00.000-05:00

Help the HSUS help animals in Haiti

Basset puppy for adoption

2010-01-13T22:10:00.004-05:00

As much as I love her, Petunia deserves a home who can devote the time and attention to her. When I rescued her my intention was never to keep her but to help her and find the perfect home for her. Please feel free to pass this on to family and friends. I will consider someone out of this area ONLY with immaculate references.

Petunia is a spayed female 8 month old Basset Hound puppy. She is looking for a SPECIAL new home. She is purebred but does not have papers available. She has been complete vaccinated for her puppy series, spayed and on heartworm and flea preventative.

Like many basset hounds she had a leg deformity and needed corrective surgery. In early December she had a pin placed to correct her leg and it was recently removed. She goes back to the veterinary specialist in February to see if more surgery will be needed. Also like many basset hounds Petunia’s other legs aren’t perfect. However it is hoped that she will never need surgery.

Petunia is a very happy outgoing puppy. She loves people and really adores kids. She gets along with cats and most dogs. She knows sit, speak and walks fairly well on a leash. She is partially housebroken and will need some work on that.

Rescue is looking for a foster to adopt home for Petunia. Once her currently leg is fully recovered she can be adopted.

Her adoption fee is $200 which covers her medical care thus far and goes toward helping other animals taken in by this rescue.

Approved application, references and home visit required. Rescue reserves the right to refuse adoption to anyone.

Thoughts on today

2010-01-12T18:20:00.001-05:00

Who needs flowers? When I got home today my dogs greeted me with a chewed stick, the stuffing from something, my sock, my mascara and the ear from a stuffed bunny. What more could someone ask for?

I also need to know why a juice box is harder to open than a wine bottle?

365

2010-01-07T23:16:00.000-05:00

So back in November I decided to take a picture a day. (after stealing the idea from my cousin...) Finding no way to publish it on here, so I made it into a slide show over there ~~~~>>>>>>

the 3 stooges

2009-12-30T08:45:00.001-05:00

or more like 7 right now... wow yes there are 7 dogs in my house. Thankfully 4 of them weigh less than the cats, though 2 are as big as small elephants.

Anyway, back to whatever I was going to blog about. It was a tad chilly last night so I decided all the dogs should wear their T shirts to bed. Well except Moses, he loves this weather and has dug 3 new caves in the backyard to live in, but that's a different story. Thankfully I had a small obsession with buying dog clothes for a while and had one to fit everyone. I dug out an old men's L T shirt for Pilgrim.

I guess this is what kids do to their clothes, who knows. Jelly was totally naked in 30 min, its hard to cloth something whose limbs bend like rubber & can slide in or out of anything. Brie woke me up at 2am with her leg caught in the neck of the shirt in her attempt to take it off. Petunia went outside at about 7am and rolled in something in her nice pink shirt. Veruca was wearing her's like a skirt.

Then comes Pilgrim. Moses, he and Petunia were playing tug of war with his shirt. It was still on him, mostly. Apparently he enjoyed the advantage of wearing it while the others pulled. I was laughing too hard to get a pic.

It is apparently an object of desire now as they are playing keep away....

I'm taking them to work with me today, I'm afraid for my house if I leave them alone

It's 3am I must be lonely..

2009-12-29T02:12:00.001-05:00

Well it's 2am and I'm not really lonely, just awake. Apparently this is my new wake up time. I wake up at 2am, wide no coffee needed awake. The animals are apparently used to it because I just noticed they have all gone back to bed. I'm sure my bed, in the nice warm comfy spot.

I'm not sure if this is some new and lovely form of insomnia I've been blessed with. Instead of never going to sleep I'll fall asleep exhausted only to wake up 3 hours later. I'm hoping it is the never ending head full of snot I've had latelly, but I don't think so...

I may ask to borrow some of your children so I can become one of those people who learns to function on 4-5hrs of sleep a night. Right now I've turned into one of those people who isn't functional on less than 8.

I'm not really sure there is any point to this blog...., but I am kind of sleep now....

Today was stupid

2009-12-18T21:40:00.000-05:00

Today was mostly stupid. I got up early to get my foot checked. I've fallen 3x in the last few weeks. My screwed together foot is killing me. I'm not sure if I knocked a screw loose, have a bunion or my fat ass is wearing it out. Either way I'm tired of not walking. I'm assigned to the new nurse practitioner, its a woman so I think well that won't be so bad. On her way to the the NP, the nurse said, she doesn't feel really well today. Great I think, some sick grumpy bitch is gonna look at me. I was right. No swine flu couch so she must have just been PMSing or something. She literally glances at my foot, has me point to where it hurts and says put your shoe back on. No touching, no moving, no standing, no walking.

I'm not expert but my arch is gone more than it has been. I haven't walked on the outside of my foot in months. I make sure she understands several times that I am in pain. I can't take NSAIDs, that means no motrin, no aleve, no advil for Michele. I will on occasion but the ensuing vomiting and or other bathroom antics can be quite discouraging. I'm left with the advice wrap it up with something, yes she said something, take tylenol and wait 7-10 days for my xray results. Really, really 7-10 days. You are the biggest hospital in Jax. and you can't read xrays the same day. Solantic can read them right away, the emergency room can read them right away, but I get to walk around for another week on a probably broken foot with tylenol. You suck. I'm sure w/ Obamacare it will only get better.

On the elevator ride down a headache starts. By the time I hit Panera for coffee I can't really see. I managed to make it to the bathroom to vomit. I spent 40 min in my car trying to open my eyes. I took a klonopin, tylenol, tramadol and 800mg of motrin. I don't care if my gut rots out and that is all I could find.

I manage to get the headache mostly gone and go visit my baby at lunch. Headrubs do wonders. I proceed to Hobby Lobby to return some stuff I don't need. I literally bought it put it in the car, drove around for a week then took it back. Bags & receipt intact. I find out that I cannot return the items because I bought them with a visa giftcard I no longer have. It had no money left on it, I threw it away. I have the receipt, original packages, tags etc intact. I ask for cash, check, etc. Sorry says the manager. I think the look of pure evil finally convinced him to give me store credit, that or the scary calm voice I use when really really pissed. I don't want store credit. I hate Hobby lobby now.

I come home, the dogs have had a paper and remote shredding festival while I was gone. I manage a 16 min nap w/ only about 5 phone calls in between.

I did manage to go get a mani/pedi and that made me happy. For some reason when I came home I started pulling up the kitchen floor. Petunia has managed to take a chunk from under the dishwasher so why not finish. I go to toss it in the garage and realize on of the cats has peed in there. I give up. I hope no one comes over between the porch, the kitchen floor the leaves in the atrium, the kittens room and the laundry on my bed I look like the crazy cat lady lives with trailer trash man.

Today was stupid... tomorrow should be better

Suggestions...

2009-12-15T22:48:00.001-05:00

Perhaps the 1 or 2 of you that actually read this can help out. I'm trying to post a picture a day for 365 days. I'm currently only one day behind because I obsessively take pics of my animals. My goal is to eventually take pics of real life. Anyway, I currently have an album on Facebook however I'd like to put it in a blog somehow. I thought about making one and updating it daily, but it will eventually get buried in old blogs. I guess I could put it in one of those things on the side over there ~~~>>>>>> but no one looks at those either.

Suggestions?

The eyes have it

2009-12-14T21:42:00.001-05:00

So there have been random cats around lately, I think attracted to the mamma cat, who is now fixed. That or the crazy hispanics behind me have acquired a few more yard decorations.

So anyway I go out to the car for the 2nd time tonight to get something I forgot. I usually look around for the boogy man. The first time I went out, previously hot but now sucky neighbor was outside smoking (he ceased his hotness when he had a gf, put up tacky Christmas lights AND blew his leaves in my street). By my rules no boogy men are outside when others are.

I go out again about 9:30 and look around. No boogy man, but something almost as creepy. Across the street sitting in the yard of the abandoned house is about 4 sets of glowing eyes. At least 2 belonged to cats, the others probably but I couldn't see. It really really creeped me out, like something out of Sleepwalkers....

I came inside without the car stuff.

Petunia has a sleep over

2009-12-09T21:57:00.000-05:00

So today I took a little boston puppy from the petstore over to the specialist because she has a heart murmur (now she needs $ to figure out what is wrong). Anyway we had her behind the front desk and Tooney just LOVED her so I took her home for the night. Figured it would be good for Tooney since she is on restriction from the big dogs due to her recent leg surgery. I dosed her up on pain meds tonight because she has been extra active today. Here are some pictures of the results of her sleepover. I just moved her head and she is actually drooling ON the couch. I guess it is better than her new friend who pooped on my super special hand made tree skirt....

I really might need to get a life...

Slacker

2009-12-08T08:56:00.002-05:00

I'm totally sucking at blogging lately. I started this blog as a distraction from a broken heart & though it's not all better it has come to a place I can live with. I've found someone I'm happy with and if nothing else from all this I learned to let it flow as it will.
I also decided during that time to try and keep myself busy. I don't like the idea anymore but now its a bit of a habit. The 100 Aker Woods kittens managed to all catch "kitty colds" so I've spent the last 2 weeks medicating and cleaning and feeding them instead of looking for new homes. I've also been trying to trap and feed several new stray cats in the neighborhood. I realized last night they are all tom cats and probably hanging around because Kanga (mamma cat) has been hanging in the atrium and I'm sure her lovely "cat in heat" smell doesn't help. I hope to have them all fixed by the 15th. Christmas kitten anyone?
Then there is Petunia. She is doing well from recent surgery and keeping her calm for the next 6 weeks will be a challenge. They broke her ulna (2nd longest bone in front leg) put a pen in it and wrapped some fat around the middle. By the time it has healed it will have grown longer allowing her radius to straighten out and re leave pressure on her elbow. I'm hoping her other leg doesn't need the same and that her knees hold out. Though I love her dearly she needs to get better and find a home of her own.
I still haven't completed a single house project I started. I can't find the paint I bought for the bathroom and just keep forgetting to get more. The kittens are occupying the spare room so finishing the floor in there is out.
I also for some reason decided to increase the hours at my 2nd job. I'm not really sure what i was thinking and this may not sound like a lot to some but I'm also caring for more animals than I have fingers or toes.
so there you have my lack of blogging excuses. I'm going clean the garage now

ISTJ

2009-12-04T09:56:00.003-05:00

ISTJ - The Inspector

You scored 41% I to E, 79% N to S, 76% F to T, and 16% J to P!
Your type is known as the inspector, and the single word that describes your is superdependable. You also belong to the larger group of guardians. You look carefully at the people and institutions around you and notice every last detail. You feel it is up to you to make sure those around you uphold certain standards of attitude and conduct. You are down to earth, with a distaste for fanciful things. You prefer things practical to new-fangled. Your word is your bond. You have no problem with detail. You share your type with 10% of the population.
As a romantic partner, you are dependable and predictable. You usually like things done in very specific ways. You tend to appreciate tradition, and you work hard to achieve goals. You have trouble sharing your feelings, though. In your eagerness to be organized and productive, you can also be unwilling to examine or embrace alternative points of view. You like to be appreciated for your practical contributions, your common sense, and the efforts you make to keep your life on track. You like to be thanked often, both informally and formally and are most likely to be upset when your partner forgets a tradition you hold dear, such as an anniversary.

The Girl effect

2009-12-01T21:57:00.002-05:00

Gifts

2009-12-01T06:47:00.001-05:00

Ever get something you have always wanted? Something you have wanted for a really long time and somehow just never got. What if you don't know what to do with it when you get it? What if your afraid if you touch it, it might break and disappear? What if you worry that the wrapping is so pretty, whats inside might not be what you've always wanted? What if your afraid they might take it back if you don't treasure it as much as they do?

Then the gift giver says, "I'm going to hold it out for you until your ready to take it". Then you realize that is is what you've always wanted and soon you'll be ready to untie the bow.

Running Destruction

2009-11-24T20:04:00.008-05:00

I probably should have started this sooner as hopefully Petunia will be finding a new home soon. However I'm going to keep a running tally of currently destroyed items they seem to get into. I'm not going to post this as new, just edit and add to it, so if you are totally bored, check back often.

Box of raisins, squished into floor, box in tiny pieces
Book to the details of Berthas "customization"
4 bowls of cat food
one stuffed bear
2 ink pens
part of a ziplock bag
backing to a rug
syringe
several clothes pins
cord to the fan for the van
that majority of the porch floor
ink pen
more porch floor
container from my lunch
many pieces of paper
several ink pens
A box of LARGE dog flea pills
Pink highlighter
Christmas tree decorations
rubber ball
my key chain
pair of crocs
Ed Hardy GLASS
kitchen rug
part of the window sill
1/2 package of turkey bacon
3/4 pack of computer paper
roll of toilet paper
part of the dog bed
pair of crocs

Just another manic Monday

2009-11-23T21:35:00.000-05:00

This week I got the worse haircut of my life. I always tell her short. She always does it shorter and it looks great. This time I look like a brillo pad and a poodle had a baby. I'm not even going to bring up how fat my arms are in this picture. Perhaps one day I will look at it and be convinced to do some type of arm exercise.

(Other than that it was an amazing night ;) )

And then there is this. Not only did they mutilate the window sill even more, now there is no screen. I hate redoing screen. I hate even more figuring out how to get this replaced, fixed etc. Perhaps with some type of dog proof metal/concrete/marble.

I must say that being the only 2 aggravating things is actually pretty good. I just wanted to share :) Have a nice day.

Dear Petunia

2009-11-19T22:42:00.000-05:00

You should not use Moses as a mentor. For example he bit our old boss who was visiting today. This is not a good thing as he weighs more, plus your mother doesn't want to get fired. I do however have a few examples of things that are mine and should not go outside. Also some of these things were meant to be outside and should not come in.

Underwear. The laundry hamper holds these until I wash them. Just because it is the short one and you can reach it does not mean you should take them outside. They line dry INSIDE when they are clean.

Sticks: I have a gun, I don't need a stick. You also do not need a stick. I do not like to find sticks buried in bed. I do not like to find sticks buried on the couch. I do not like sticks in tiny pieces mixed with your drool.

Lunch: I've been bringing my lunch so I can save money to feed you beast. Removing the tupperware from my bag and sharing it with Moses is not good. While you shredded the top to mix with your sticks, the bottom would have still been good. I do appreciate you bringing it back inside, however the 3 cups of dirt that were left in it after you dug it up were not fun to clean up.

Cats: while you may like to chase them, that is all they are around for. Please do not remove the coupons for free cat food from my bag and shred them again. The cats will not die faster this way. Please leave their tootsie rolls alone, they are not really that tasty and do not smell good.

Yard stuff: rubber mulch is not digestible, quit eating it. Pooper scooper is not to be drug around the yard, this causes it to break. Holes: while Mo feels the need to dig caves for the winter he does not need your help. Dirt sticks to your ears, please refrain from wallowing in it.

Other than that you are the perfect puppy and I hope we can raise enough $$ to fix your leg and find you a home with some kids to live with.

Deja Vu

2009-11-15T11:31:00.000-05:00

I'm starting to not like part of my brain. The part that says HELLO, you've been here, done this, remember it didn't turn out so well. I've tried to smash it down with the part of my brain that the electricity is coming from, the part that says, well damn, this isn't deja vu, this is new and amazing. It's a battle, part ~they are not all the same~ and part ~you really can't do this again~.

Every time I think I should turn and run, I take a small step forward. It's hard not to run when the glaringly obvious is staring you in the face. I think I'll put my blinders back on, see where this goes and hope it doesn't take the one piece I have left to give.

It's like playing Bingo, but by yourself

2009-11-10T22:44:00.001-05:00

Lily: not that there's anything wrong with liking you - I like you lol

Chele:: its one day at a time, he has potential due to the fact he at least has a personality

Lily: but it's like feeding a kitten

Chele:: how so?

Lily: you feed it & then it wants petted & then it wants snuggled & then it wants that all again & then you have to talk to it & feed it again & then it's living with you & brings its friends

Chele:: so that is different for me than??

Lily: well, this is a man, not a quiet unconditional pet
Lily: they're not as easy to take care of

Chele:: yes they are
Chele:: they already know im not feeding them
Chele:: or washing their clothes

Lily: no, they think you're just saying that

Chele:: I'll cook for them just once and then they will realize its true

Lily: I firmly beleive they all think anything we say is just to use as a bargaining thing later
Lily: maybe I should work on the crappy cook thing & get some meals made for me

The 100 Aker Woods

2009-11-09T21:35:00.002-05:00

No wonder we are all sick

2009-11-08T21:30:00.001-05:00

I don't venture out into mass groups of people unless it is the club or bar. I like to do my shopping at 24hr places in the middle of the night. However I've managed to find myself at the mall Saturday afternoon and grocery shopping Sunday afternoon. Apparently all the sick people had the same idea. You people need to stay at home. Cover your mouth when you cough. I seriously wanted to run around and spray them all with Lysol. Honestly if Sephoria had lysol, I would have probably been removed from the mall.

I think I'll carry some next time I go out...

Last night I dreamed about a house

2009-11-08T18:02:00.001-05:00

Not what I thought I was going to dream about but that is another story. I've dreamed about this house before. It is slightly different every time. It's mostly been in the last few months. It resembles the house I lived in for the last 10 years before I moved. Always the old lady living next door, she either dies or is about to.

So last night the house wasn't on the water like is usually is. I was moving into it for some reason. I really didn't want to but I needed to, so everyone in dreamworld kept telling me. I had to but I didn't want to. The house was full of windows and wicker, I hate wicker. Lots of small wooden mini blinds. Lots of great windows. Thought I had the whole house I had to live upstairs for some reason. I remember now wanting to put everything away and figure out where it should go. I didn't want to figure out the best room for the litter boxes or where the food would go. I was irritated that there was no yard for the dogs then through the kitchen window I found this fun pond and fountain that was the yard. It was the great amazing place even tough it was only like 5 square feet.

I remember being aggravated that someone kept trying to break in and that I would be forced to shoot them. I dont' remember being upset that they were breaking in, just irritated that I was going to have to stop and shoot them and deal with everything. They kept trying to break in and then would leave and try again. I was sitting in the kitchen which was this weird white fridge and a very small bistro table. I was happy when they started up the stairs because I knew I could shoot them from there and get it over with.

Then I got licked in the face by a muddy basset hound puppy... apparently they had taken the opportunity of the nice weather to dig a few more holes....

I'm back...

2009-11-06T22:31:00.001-05:00

For those of you who might have missed me... Last week Petunia pulled the hard drive off the table w/ a bunch of stuff attached. Apparently this kills your hard drive. As it slowly failed I managed to make sure i ran a scheduled backup so everything would be saved. (see this same thing happened last year and I lost EVERYTHING) I lost years of memories, mostly I lost pictures of Dog, this I miss the most.

I was able to convince Dell to send me a new hard drive for free (yay warranty). While I waited for the new hard drive to arrive I used my old desktop. Then one day it quit, dead, no connecting to the Internet. I called tech support. After 3 days and about 10 hours of doing the same thing I fired them. I got new service. New service didn't work. I got new modem. New modem didn't work. I got new router w/ modem (which finally worked).

Today I log on to backup site and download my stuff. It takes about 5 minutes and there is one small folder from my desktop. I contact tech support.. he find 1gb of stuff and starts the download. I'm relieved because for sure that is everything. Hours later I return home to the same stupid small folder of NOTHING. I have 2nd mental breakdown of the day. This is not helped by the fact that I have only eaten 4 hershey kisses and tons of coffee and its 5pm.

I pray and bargain and swear and finally am able to coax my old hard drive to life. I got it all back :) I didn't keep it all. Maybe that was a sign a few pictures should be left behind, sitting on an hold hard drive that probably can't be revived again. It's not like I deleted them, it's more like I've left them and moved on to a new fresh hard drive with new memories....

Electronics

2009-10-29T19:48:00.000-04:00

I have some sort of an electronic curse. I remember as a kid getting my dad's old AM radio. I loved it, I must have taken it apart 5x and put it back together. I also had a rockin record player, followed by the worlds largest boom box. It all went downhill from there. One day the cord broke on the boom box (you could also plug it in) leaving a prong to the plug stuck in the outlet. Scared to tell my parents I simply grabbed it to pull it out. That was a very very bad idea. I think i finally asked my friends dad and then used some kitchen tongs to get it out.

Fast forward a really long time. I had an ex who was way into the latest gadgets so we had them all. When I got rid of him he took everything but the 20K in debt. Since then electronics have hated me. the feeling is mutual. My van still has a tape player in it. The same CD has been stuck in the mustang for 3 years. I've given up buying anything electronic because it dies on me or I somehow kill it. Coffee pots only last a few months, even with distilled water.

My mp3 player gave up the ghost, no reason, just died, taking the music with it. My hard drive left on my desktop last year. Totally utterly gone, pictures, memories and all. Computer wizard ex bf could not even bribe it into giving up its memories. Enter new laptop. New laptop has survived a bath, dinner and drinks. It was killed last week by a basset hound. Thankfully for once in my life, I still have a warrenty. New harddrive arrives in 3-5 business days.

Today I killed the brand new printer at work. The fix was easy but it still died for a few minutes. I've managed to kill a keyboard, 2 monitors and a tower at work in the last year. Our amazing printer of many years also bit the dust recently.

I stare longenly at the plasma tvs at the store and the fun things to put your phone and mp3 on your car sterio. then I walk away knowing that whatever electronic I buy will somehow die on me in a matter of weeks.
Perhaps I should go live with the Amish...

Doors

2009-10-27T19:44:00.000-04:00

When did they quit teaching men to open the door for women? Perhaps it went away with the feminist movement. Perhaps I'm old fashioned and don't know how it is. I have this thing, if I'm walking up to a door at the same time as a man, I wait to see if he opens it for me. You should see the looks I get. Sometimes they say thanks and walk in ahead, holding it a bit for me to follow, sometimes they just walk in and not enough times they hold it open. Automatic doors are about the same, though what I'm expecting is to walk in first.

I don't feel defeminized or unimpowered, I feel entitled. Women have birthed your children and put up with your crap, panty hose, uncomfortable shoes and bad sex for years. It is the least you can do. I also think my car door should be opened for me, my chair pulled out at a table. If I walk up to sit at dinner, its polite if the man stands. Of course I can do these things for myself, but why should I? It shows good manners, good upbringing, respect and we deserve it.

Of course the same should be done by anyone for the elderly, the disabled, moms w/ a ton of kids or people with their arms full. I don't see this much anymore either. I'll call you on your crappy service and run you off the road as fast as the next person, but I'm also going to be the first person to open the old ladies door.

So next time you see a chick standing at a door and staring at you, I'm probably waiting for you to open it.

It's ok to tell the children...

2009-10-25T16:55:00.002-04:00

So I knew going into my last LTR that he wasn't totally divorced but he said and his "soon to be ex wife" (stbew) both said they were moving on, getting divorced etc, so I didn't think much of it. The signs were there that the promises he made were hollow and things weren't going to work out... but I only realized them in the end and its hard to give up when your in love. And it's hard to give up when you really really want to hold on to those promises. In the end however it didn't work out. I'm sure it's hard to get a divorce when only one of you works and when the other one has helped run up a million bills, its hard to get divorced when the stbew can't/won't/doesn't work and has no idea how to be self sufficient. It's hard to get a divorce when your parents & stbew & inlaws all keep you either working on guilty about divorce. Then stbew bans you from bringing your toddler around the gf, your just totally fucked. So you go back to your stbew and you pretend to be a family. You tell the gf it's for the sake of the child, that you want to be together for the child.

So today I'm to promising new hot guy I've met. Seems together, job, car, brain good stuff like that. We ask all the fun questions you do to try to get to know someone. He asks how long I've been divorced (9+years) so I ask him. He's not. They still live together. They do their own thing and are aware of what the other is doing but they are staying together for the sake of the kids. Joy

Tell the freaking kids already. They aren't stupid whether they are 3 or 13, they know something is up. Sure it is hard and sure it sucks and sure it will change/damage them in some way. However so will knowing you are having what they think is an affair. So will fighting w/ your wife. So will the sadness you try and hide that you think you cover. Trust me, I lived it. My teenage years were spent with parents who should not have been together. They have worked it all out now but back then, they stayed together for the kids and IT TOTALLY SUCKED. I know it made me how I am with relationships today. Your 3 year old will get over it. They will adjust. Your 13 year old will act out, I'm sure. However seeing a happy parent who they know loves them no matter what is much better than teaching them it is ok and normal to live miserable, that it is ok to pretend to be what your not.

I also don't get these men. Do they think it is OK for the "other" woman? We aren't toys to be taken out and played with when it works for you, only to be put away when you need a holiday with the family or to pretend your one big happy family for the folks at church or your old friends...

I'm going to Walmart now to buy a few comfy moo-moos and some fuzzy slippers. If I quit cleaning the litter boxes I can be the crazy cat lady by next week.
I'm not jaded one bit.....

Weirdo

2009-10-21T20:41:00.001-04:00

Martial law might be a good idea....

2009-10-20T22:25:00.000-04:00

So it is a rather nice and breezy 70 degrees out tonight. I love this weather. I've got every window open, and am sitting here trying to unwind. But it's not so easy, every 20 min or so a helicopter is passing over. Not normally a problem since I live in suburban hell. Except tonight, because they are on like search hour 24 of an Amber Alert. Its about 2 miles from my house. Another mile or 2 past that is my work. Two and a half years ago, my friend was killed there. Still awaiting trial is A CONVICTED SEX OFFENDER who was let out of jail 10 years early, 10 freaking years.

The sheriffs office is finally saying that foul play is suspected in this amber alert. I guarantee you she was taken by someone who has done this before, or tried, or done something similar. They aren't fixable, they aren't correctable and they need to be shot. I may not do well with the majority of the human population, but I have no tolerance for those that harm the helpless, the ones who cannot defend themselves. We really need convictions to stick and sentences for sex offenders as tough as for drug dealers. The death penalty needs to be put back in all 50 states. We need to put sex crimes right up there murder. Other countries have a good idea. Quick trial, quicker hanging. Sounds good to me.

Ok, I'm going to step off my soapbox for a while and say a little prayer for this girl. And as I type this I realize the helicopters have stopped and how that must be breaking her parents hearts....

It's ADOPT A SHELTER DOG MONTH

2009-10-19T09:15:00.001-04:00

While many of you probably can't go adopt a dog right now there are a few easy things you can do to help. First find somewhere. Petfinder is a wonderful resource and you can search for shelters and groups in your area by zip. I highly suggest first supporting your local Animal Control. These are usually government funded and the first to get budge cuts. Secondly you could pick your favorite breed and seek out a rescue group for that breed in your area. Yes humane societies and no kill shelters are in need as well, but they are usually the first people donate to and the first to get grants and subsidies.

While cash is always needed, it is better to give things. Animal Controls for example have to turn that money in, it then goes through the city and stuck wherever, not necessarily right back to the animals. Give things. Have a box in your office for people to bring things in and take a big pile at once. Here is a small list of things most shelters or groups can use:

Linens: towels, blankets, beds etc, used is fine
Food bowls
non destructable, washable toys: Kongs, hard plastic for cats
FOOD, espcially canned
New or gently used collars & leashes
Cleaning stuff: Bleach, brooms, dust pans, mops, hoses, spray bottles, dish soap, laundry soap
Dog & cat shampoo, brushes
cat litter
newspaper
litterboxes & scoops
garbage bags
hamster/gerbil/rabbit food & bedding
Office supplies: envelopes, pens, paper, pencils, markers, page protectors,

Think outside the box too. "Retiring" a used but workable item, some shelters could use them: digital camera, laptop or desktop, lawnmower, washer, dryer etc.

If you do however think now is a good time to adopt a dog, let me know and I can point you in the right direction.

Random Thoughts

2009-10-18T21:13:00.001-04:00

That I had today or about today...

Moving does not suck nearly as bad if its not you that is moving. As a matter of fact, its not bad at all.

I should not have a large raspberry coffee from Dunkin Donuts at 4pm

I drink way way lots of coffee when the weather gets below 60

My shopping cart rage is way worse than my road rage

BOTH of my new neighbors are hot, I need to find an excuse to be in the front yard more

This weather makes me happy, perhaps if I move somewhere cold I won't be such a bitch.

I really want to move somewhere with seasons again. Something other than green and dirt color, something that has snow on occasion or where I have to actually buy a winter coat.

I've been watching too much TV lately. I hate that bookstores have memories.. it is time to replenish.

I also realized my siblings and I prefer to live alone.. we grew up with 4 other people, why is this?

I just don't get people

2009-10-17T21:26:00.000-04:00

So we are having an incredibly busy day at work. It does not help that I was an hour late. (that extra sleep was great however) I look up when I hear this really pitiful meow. There is a guy holding this cat by it's armpits. It sounds really sad. Here he says, I work at xx industrial park (its about a block away), someone just threw this out of a car and I don't want it. I'm about to blurt out my speel on how we can't take things blah blah blah. Besides having a room full of people staring at me, I realize this cat will just end up dead if dumped at the shelter. So I take her. Four foot declawed, spayed Manx. Despite being tossed out of a car, put in another and in a room full of noise she just sat. She needs a temporary name because "fat ass extra cat" really doesn't look good when you try to adopt her out.

What I don't get is why whoever tossed her out couldn't have just taken her to the shelter? Yes she might have been put to sleep but that would have been tons better than having to fend for yourself in a business park. She has no claws, she is too fat to run, what the hell did they expect her to eat??

Sometimes people just suck.

Now I'm going enjoy my fire and make smores w/ my 85% dark Ugandan chocolate :)

“The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated” Mahatma Gandhi

A series of unfortunate events

2009-10-16T19:41:00.000-04:00

I think my life sometimes is a series of unfortunate events. I've obviously done something to Karma. Perhaps it was my early 20s. Perhaps it was a past life. Whatever it is, I'm obviously paying for it now. She is nice enough to through a few good periods in there but I'll be doing penance for a while from what I can tell.

Today was not actually bad. I took a pill for my back. I think I may have actually slept during the 4 hours I had to do so. Also turning off my alarm for an hour was good too. It did however make me nearly late for work. Skipping things like fixing my hair and picking up after the zoo helped too. Poor Gary never got her breakfast. I get to work, figure out with the other girl who is doing what and go at it. I then remember I've left the cake for Boss' day at home. I rush like a mother and get my stuff done and run home to get the cake. Meanwhile I'm told that everything else is done. Now I'm being told this by a newly pregnant 20yr old. This pregnancy has robbed her of her brain and ability to function. I know it must be a shock when your boyfriend has been telling you for years that he can't get you pregnant because he has bad sperm. I know your not sure where you will keep said baby once it is born since you, your brother, your cousin, your boyfriend and your unemployed mother all live with your grandmother. It doesn't help that only 2 of those have graduated high school. I've seen people like this before. Most of them grow up. She however cannot function. I digress.

I return from getting cake. I find only 1 of the 500 things that were supposed to be done, done. There is however no time left to do them. SO I run around again and do them. Along with the new work that is ready for us. I see preggo wandering around in a daze so I give her 2 simple related tasks. They should take a total of 5 minutes. 20 minutes later, 1 is done. I send her away and do the other. The day progresses like this.

I simply want some soup for lunch. I order soup. Preggo goes to get lunch. She comes back. The soup wasn't ready she said. So what did I get instead I ask? I'm told nothing. Cool. I go to eat the leftovers I brought to work 2 days ago. I try not to think about expiration dates. I had packed said leftovers in an old butter container. Guess what? I brought the new butter instead of the leftovers. I ate a piece of cake instead.

Meanwhile we have decided to send preggo home as soon as her replacement gets in, which should be in like 30 minutes.

I'm standing at the fridge trying to decide if I can eat any of the 10 yogurts that are sitting in there. In comes preggo and says. The 115 is here and sits down and proceeds to eat her lunch. I stare at her, she just smiles. I walk out and shut the door, very very very hard. Preggo calls inside, whats wrong? I ignore her. She finally manages to come inside and wants to know why I'm mad. I ask her what she thinks. I'm met with a blank stare. Think about it I said, you are leaving in like 10 minutes. I have not even stopped to pee yet. I worked though lunch because you were on the phone yet you sit down to eat and tell me the 115 is here? Well I told the doctor she says. And?? I ask. What she says. Did you expect the 115 to get itself ready? Was speaking about it going to make it happen? Did your invisible friend decide to work? Someone had to see the 115 and you proceeded to flop your ass in a chair, what did you want me to do? Being afraid I was going to knock the blank stare off her face, I walked away.

I really wasn't going to ramble on about THAT today but there I went and now I'm totally distracted from whatever else "unfortunate" happened today.... perhaps it really isn't so unfortunate compared to...

I'm going figure out if I need a tetanus show now that I've dug the glass out of my foot.

ps: no comments on my lack of empathy/sympathy. I don't have ~~any~~ much. I know this. It's a personality flaw. It isn't getting fixed anytime soon.

Things that made me smile today

2009-10-15T20:06:00.000-04:00

If you ever accidently spill a nice pumpkin ale on your laptop. You can save it with this.

I also found OJ in a small container. See I have this thing with expiration dates. Once something, especially drinks has been open for a few days, I'm scared it will poison me and I can't drink it. Thus stuff goes to waste. Yay for small OJ.

And hummus. I love hummus. However, the expiration date stuff again. Plus I get bored with one flavor. These make me happy.

And this should make everyone smile....

Wordless Wednesday

2009-10-14T06:30:00.002-04:00

Sleep

2009-10-13T23:30:00.000-04:00

I couldn't sleep the other night so I started watching Trouble the Water, which turned out to be pretty good. About 1/2 way through I noticed the house was very very quiet, way too quiet and figured everyone had to be up to no good. Apparently they all put themselves to bed, thought I did wake a few up taking pics.

Dear Moses,

2009-10-12T20:39:00.000-04:00

I am very happy that you have learned to use the dog door. However I would really like it if you would follow Pilgrim's example and remember a few things.

DOG door: This means it is YOUR door. You can go in or out of it 24/7. This means you no longer need to open any of the other doors, ever. I do not enjoy coming home to flies and a 500 degree house. While I'm sure you feel sorry for Jelly Legs not being able to get through the dog door, he is safer inside.

INSIDE things: these are things that should either stay inside or be brought back in. Things on the counters are mine. Just because I left the skillet soaking in the sink does not entitle you to get it out and take it outside. It is however clean now. Bones & Toys: they do not do well in the FL humidity. Even when you bury them I find them, when they mold I throw them away. I also do not enjoy picking 45 dirty soggy dog toys out of the yard on a daily basis.

GARBAGE: Just because you can open the door then the can & hold it open while you dig around does not mean you should. I do not enjoy picking up above toys, wrappers, empty cat food cans and other various things out of the yard. Add the beer bottle you somehow got out there today and I'm sure the new neighbors will be impressed. It also does not look good just in case the city actually listens to the email I sent.

HOLES: Just because you have all day on occasion to dig, please don't. You are not often home alone. You go on daily adventures to work. You have an air conditioned house, your own van & several dog beds. You do not need to live in a cave like a wolf. While I appreciate your ability to dig a hole a family of sumo wrestles can live in in a matter of hours, I do not enjoy falling in them. You may have the one on the back side of the porch. Please no more. Our yard is small. Plus your new one has some plastic bag sticking out of the bottom & I don't want to know what is in it.

NOISE: We have great neighbors. They do not say a word about the symphony of dog barks that would outdo a highschool band. They think you only bark to warn them of strangers. Please lets leave it at that. Just because there is a dog door does not mean you can go outside and bark at the new neighbors at 2am. If you continue to wake me up in the middle of the night I will have to either kill you or the new neighbors. I like you and the new neighbor is hot so lets see if we can just go back to sleeping through the boogy man.

Maybe once you get this down we can work on the amount of drool you fling on the walls....

Love,
Mom

too much time to think

2009-10-11T14:45:00.003-04:00

I’ve made a habit of distracting myself. From life, from feelings, from many things. I can lose myself in a book or a movie, but that doesn’t work forever. Busy work, projects, things of that sort. I’ve become a master of this as of late. I’m used to alone time, down time, even when I was more “involved”. You see, there was always something to look forward to, even as simple as a text. But alas that is no more. So I try and stay busy, distracted & unthinking.

My friends are great but they all have their own lives, their significant others, families & people in general to keep them occupied. Even when bored, it’s different if there is someone there. Today I have run out of distraction. I colored my hair, it’s normalish now. I’ve spent time with the kittens and cleaned their room. I cleaned the entire house. I did laundry. I tried to nap but the dreams were too bizarre. (My neighbors had all traded houses & were sitting in the street watching an old school big screen TV and a man was giving away black dogs & talking about the number 14). So I get online and start futzing around. An old friend has posted some sad news and my heart ached for them. I wanted to call or email or text or something, to let them know I was thinking of them. And then I remembered it wasn’t wanted and that they had their life, their family, their people already there for them.

So I guess that is a kick for my mind, a reminder to keep moving, keep distracting, keep busy, keep the feelings at bay & maybe you can bury them enough to regain some semblance of life. But it still doesn’t stop me of hoping everything is ok…

Hot Mess

2009-10-10T23:08:00.000-04:00

Tattoos are sexy...

So is trying to get the red and black out of my hair....

Nostalgia....

2009-10-09T20:02:00.000-04:00

Ever think we want something new and exciting. That you’re tired of what you had. Maybe you just don’t have it anymore and decide that getting it again, but all brand new and shiny would be great. Ever plan and get all prepared and excited at the new? It’s a great feeling, the anticipation. Then you get the new and the shiny and you realize what you really want is your old one?

I’m having a few days like that. Maybe it’s nostalgia, who knows.

Ink

2009-10-09T09:47:00.000-04:00

I'm so happy! I get to go tomorrow and get the "girls" filled in. Besides looking amazing, I've found they do a great job of hiding the spider veins :) I'll post some after pics when it's done but here are 2 of the 3 getting work.

I couldn't stay wordless this Wednesday....

2009-10-07T21:44:00.000-04:00

Today everyone is stupid. Mostly because I’m annoyed with the world. Mostly because they are. I’m sitting here typing this watching “I didn’t know I was pregnant”. Really? You were like the only woman in the world who was OK not using birth control? Not every one of them had a period the whole time. I try and ignore my body, I don’t like the things it tells me to stop doing. But can that many women not pay attention. I stay protected but I can’t tell you how many “tests” I’ve taken to make sure.

How about the client who called today. X said his pet got bit twice by a snake yesterday. Now it’s nearly closing time, I’m not sure what X did all morning. The pet was laying around, swollen & not moving. X decides he can fix the dog by sticking a needle in the swelling and draining it, he only needs the doc to call and tell him exactly what to do. I really want to tell him to wait till it’s full of pus and suck it out. X decides he also has some meds somewhere that will help. Clients love to do this, that way when the pet dies, it is YOUR fault because you did not tell them how to practice veterinary medicine at home using silverware.

Fast forward an hour or so. In walks couple, dressed nicely. The man is holding 2 terrified kittens like you would carry a package of anthrax. They were in the road, take them he says. Sorry I say, I’m already feeing and housing like 15 extra right now and I’m broke. He plops them on the counter and spits out ‘take them” I get the feeling he might be special so I repeat myself. He mumbles out a few more sentences leading me to realize he is merely stupid, among them threats of the road/street/floor of the office. Whatever I tell him, give them to me. He plops them down and leaves. No thank you, no bye, not here is even $5 to feed them. They are overheated, dirty and freaked out. They are in a cage at work, chilling. I hope to god they calm down, I simply don’t have the time to tame them. I don’t really have any room for them either.

Roll back to Monday. I pass by work to make my U turn. Man is getting out of car in parking lot. We are closed. I U turn and pull around into work. Man is zipping out of parking lot. I get man’s plate number. Man has left box containing a kitten at the door. I have his plate number, I have him on video. I’m told we can’t look bad or mean since he thought he was doing the right thing so I’m not allowed to report him. Right thing? In whose eyes is it OK to tape a kitten in a box and leave it? Take it to the freaking shelter. Stupid. She has coccidia so she is in a cage at work, I’ve got nowhere else to isolate her. I’m hoping my boss doesn’t notice as I’ve still got the 2 teenagers no one wants up front for adoption.

I’m just annoyed with stupid, annoyed with people in general. Annoyed with having to clean up after stupid. Annoyed that people don’t see how rewarding dealing with stupid can be after you get over the annoyance.

PS: I’m also annoyed at Go-Gurt for biting a hole in Peggy Sue’s tail.

Wordless Wednesday

2009-10-07T06:22:00.000-04:00

six

2009-10-06T22:30:00.000-04:00

So I'm stealing the idea from someone else... but that is the sincerest form of flattery right?

So for the 4 of you who actually follow this

and the few of you that do it anonymously

What are six things you could not do without?

I do not like green eggs & ham

2009-10-05T19:43:00.002-04:00

Things I like about today:

Cute puppies even if they take another chunk out of the porch floor
Baby kittens
Chocolate covered espresso beans
waking up early
the rain
getting off work early
having tomorrow off so I can plan the dog's halloween costumes.
finally getting the rest of the carpet out the "hall"
a wink
a "promise"

Things I don't like about today:

have to redo the porch floor
the rain
getting off work early so I could come home with a beer & work
the camping trip I had planned in my head
realizing I should have learned long ago not to plan
I let it make me cry today... grrr
pulling up all those little wood w/ nail things they put carpet down with
not remembering when I opened the egg beaters (I have this weird thing w/ open dairy)
THE ASSHOLE WHO LEFT THE KITTEN IN THE BOX, I SAW YOU, I HAVE YOUR PLATE NUMBER & YOUR ON TAPE. THE ONLY REASON YOU DON'T HAVE A BIG FAT FINE IS BECAUSE MY BOSS WON'T LET ME CALL THE COPS

I'm going clean the house to make myself feel better now

Sunday

2009-10-04T21:26:00.001-04:00

Happy Birthday Jerry Regs

2009-10-02T22:45:00.003-04:00

(That’s his Asian name). I'm a bit obsessed with my animals, but if I blogged for each of their birthdays you would have at least one post a month.

I'm just very happy Jelly has made it to 2years old when at 6 months I asked how long he would live and was told, 'Well, we are really surprised he has lived this long." Jelly has Ehlers Danlos which is rather rare in dogs. He came into the shelter as a 4 week old puppy late on a Friday evening. The only option was to put him to sleep as he was too young to adopt out and there was no where 'safe" for him to be housed. (Picture big old nasty shelter, tons of dogs in every cage and rampant disease). He obviously had something wrong with his legs so I took him home for the weekend.

I was off that Monday so I made an appointment and took him to the veterinary specialist (AVS, who by the way rocks). They did a lot of test but still were not sure what the problem was. When I returned to work on Tuesday I was called into the director’s office and written up because the vet had complained that I took the puppy to another vet without her telling me to. Now I paid for this out of my own pocket and as a foster parent had every right. However the vet is one of those people with really low self esteem and even lower skills as a vet or a human. I had apparently hurt her feelings by taking moral and financial responsibility for an animal instead of putting it to sleep. But I digress; I'll save my soapbox for another blog.

Long story short I paid for the medical cost incurred by the shelter and for $11 I took home my little terrorist. We made weekly then bi monthly trips to the specialist for quite a while. A biopsy was performed and he was finally diagnosed with ED. They really did an amazing job with him and for only a few boxes of Panera bagels.

Jelly has no idea he is disabled. He hops on his back legs while scooting his front ones along. He can run nearly as fast as a normal dog on the right surface. Because of his fragile skin I often have to staple him back together, he never complains and usually goes right back to playing when I'm done. He has no problems bossing around the bigger dogs and routinely puts the cats in their place. He hasn't met a human he doesn't like and greets everyone like a long lost friend. He hasn't an ounce of manners because it never occurred to me to discipline him because I thought he was going to die.

I love this little monster and I treasure each day I have with him.

The Lovely Bones

2009-10-01T22:22:00.000-04:00

I read about a book a week when I have time, if my life is"caught up" I'll go through on in a few days. I buy the majority of my books used unless its one I plan on keeping since I never read the same one twice. What is the fun if you know what is going to happen? I recently decided 4 bookshelves in one room was too much, plus it had been quite a few months since I went through all the books. I ended up with a basket full of books in the van to take to the thrift store.

After they rode around in the car for a month and Pilgrim snacked on one on the way to work one day, I simply dragged them into work and put a FREE sign on them. I got to work early last week and being bored, grabbed one to read while I waited for everyone. I picked up The Lovely Bones since it had been a few years since I read it.

Well I'm still reading it. Nothing in it sounds familiar. I can't remember reading it before. That never happens to me. I don't verbatim remember books but usually after the first page I remember them. Nothing clicks with this book. I tried 2 more books, same thing.

I'm fairly sure I'm loosing my mind. I'll be the youngest in my family to get Alzheimers. I'm pretty sure I'm going to enjoy this. I will only need to keep like 10 books around. I can TIVO and watch the same shows over and over. I'll forget that Pilgrim ate yet another $65 bra. I'll never have to buy clothes again because I won't remember that I wore that same dress to the last 4 weddings.

This is great.